Long time no post

Hello,

I feel like I really need to start taking advantage of this site, so I am planning to start posting more often and taking the time to read an learn from other's posts.

I've been told a lot recently that people have been worried that I seem depressed, and I guess maybe I am a little. I normally pride myself at being a strong woman nad working hard to get the things that I want, but lately everything is wearing on me.

I want the "American Dream"= Everything. I want to complete my education, travel, get a good job, start a family, buy a house, etc. But the potential or lack there of for everything to happen the way that I want it to, is really starting to tear at my shield and my strength.

I guess things are going well. I've had a full-time job, since graduation, more or less in the field of my study. I've actually just gotten a loan, and put in my notice at my job so that I can go abroad to travel some, and learn. I'm planning an educational trip to South America (Lima, Peru; Vina del Mar, Chile; Buenos Aires, Argentina) through ECELA to learn spanish, learn a culture, volunteer, medical shadow, learn to tango. Sounds great, and I I know that I should be more excited, but right now I'm worried, about money, about everything! This trip is supposed to take place March through May of this year.

My boyfriend (I'm at the point where I wish that I could just call him my fiance, but I guess that's not officially correct) is waiting to hear back from a few different potential jobs that he has applied to. Depending on when those jobs start, he may be able to come with me on my trip. When we get back he has his official graduation ceremony, then we're planning to move to whichever company (all in other states) hires him. I'm planning to work to try to pay back some of these loans (school loans + these new personal loans) for a year, and get more experience in a healthcare field. Then I'm going to be applying for a masters program, I've decided on a Masters in Public Health Policy to start out with. I may have to move again for school, but once I'm done, I'll be able to marry, start really saving money, maybe get a house and start a family.

Things are so complicated. I want to have it all, I want to have the amazing career developing health care systems and creating health equity, but I also want to have a family- children, maybe a dog, I don't know.

Oy Life.

Ok I gues that's enough of a rant for now, but if anyone has any health contacts in South America I would live to try to meet as many people related to the healthcare field in a world other than the one I am used to, after all how am I going to help fix the world's healthcare if I don't know anything about anywhere else in the world?