Women's Equality--Why is it Difficult?

It never occurred to me to write about women's equality issues around the world until our organization searched capable women candidates to become Board of Director in late 2014. Our organization, Support Women and Children in Nigeria Inc., as the name indicates, supports women in Nigeria but the candidates who applied for the boards of director were all men at first. Needless to say, I intended to give priorities to women, but none came forward excitedly—as I expected. It was surprising, but I took it very serious. While I have heard numerous women crying and demanding for equal rights as those of men in today’s era, 21th century, when the opportunity is given to them, majorities don’t seem to take it.

Are there any gaps between my expectation of women and what women are really ready for? I needed answers. Women may want equal rights, but are they ready to take action? Are there any significant responsibilities on women who end up playing, not the first, but the secondary roles? Is it really true that men are the oppressors as most people seem to think? Is there really a rigid glass ceiling? Is it possible that women are allowing themselves to be less than men?

As the company grew, it became even more obvious in my eyes that women were lagging behind while men were advancing no matter how much I encouraged women to get involved. I needed to sort out my inpatient feelings and observe what exactly women are doing or not doing as the men advanced in my organization. I needed to examine what women were feeling and thinking when the opportunities were given and what made them decline or accept the responsibilities. This gave me serious thoughts about cultivating idea of training women to help them advance grabbing opportunities right away when they arise.

My desire to support women has to do with the terrifying predicaments I experienced as many women around the world experience. I experienced serious stigma for the first time in life when I met a Nigerian man in India in 2007. The company he and I developed had enough financial and academic back-up, but the unstable political and economic social environment in Nigeria and his dominant management style did not match up well. The relationship with him, my ex-fiancé had so entangled my life that I could not break free to live the way I wanted. He was a heavy smoker, drug abuser, drunken bout, and adulterer. My daughter and I were abused and threatened by fists, belts, machete, iron, acid, series of lies, forgery and fraud, witch-craft, child sacrifice, threat to life, locking-up, polygamy, and desires of all kinds. Despite of all odds, we survived. Giving up our life to Godly hands, which, effortlessly, evolved our survival by itself. If I should struggle to control my life independently, I may have missed the important point that there is time for quiet observation and meditation—before real blessing comes. Though, this does not mean that a woman should stay in abusive relationships, or end in separation or divorce. My humble opinion is that women would be better off working on her own negative thoughts and fears so that real power inside a woman is unleashed, and to be able to build an organization that she wants—before demanding men for equal opportunities. Often time, women may allow themselves lag behind because of their own fear. This may become clear when one observes the reactions of men and women when opportunities arise. Women’s starting business or working on managing positions are frequently not facilitated by men’s permission to women, but by courageous self-starters going against all odds.

How about the fact that women are under much more expectation on them at home? Men can go to work and come home. Women go to work, then even today, are still expected to attend to most of the household duties. In America at least there is this tacit expectation. There isn't the support system that allows women as much freedom to immerse in career, particularly when there are children. CEO's are expected to put company first, but mother's put children first and often these two are not compatible in the corporate world. In America at least there is not enough integration of family/community and corporate life so the parts become compartmental-ized, fragmented and all suffer.

Well said! Such problems may be reasonably resolved by one’s own positive solutions to the problems. For example, I have seen a woman, who does not have time for herself because of child rearing, realized that there are many other women undergoing the same stressful life in Japan, started a child-care center so that she employs people to take care of the children while parents can go to work. To take leadership means to believe in oneself to find solutions under difficult conditions such as reproaches and demands. Maintaining dignity and respect for others is a challenge, especially those surrounded by negative influences.

\"Never Let the Odds Keep You From Doing What You Know in Your Heart You are Meant to Do.\"