Security Begins With You

This is a continuation of the lessons from my grandmother......

One of the important aspects during the traditional marriage ceremony in my culture is bringing gifts to the bride, basic items that she will go with to her new home when she leaves her parents house to start a family with her husband.

Usually; her relatives will give her gardening tools, seeds and seedlings, containers for storage of drinking water and harvested crops, cooking materials, some domestic animals (chicken, goats, sheep, turkeys, ducks etc), yards of cloth material and sewing thread. The idea is that she will start her own farm and her family will never sleep hungry or go naked - (the traditional version sustainableFood Security).

The groom on the other hand will receive building materials, a bow and arrow for protecting his family, a dog (for security or pet role), a piece of land on which to set up his home and garden, a means of transport (bicycle or motorcycle).  Before the marriage ceremony he will have gotten alot of advice on bargaining, selling and buying such that whenever his farm has excess produce, he will take it to the next village for sale or exchange for any other item or service that may urgently be needed by his family.

Through this practice, we culturally believe that the security of every family should be in its ability to be self sustaining.

But we also have to factor in the miscellaneous........changing weather patterns that lead to famine, drought, disease, civil and tribal wars over land to mention but a few.

I have tried to apply this knowledge from my grand mother's generation to my own life and realised that not much has changed.....These lessons have shaped my beliefs on security to mean:

1. As a mother, belonging to a community that upholds good morals and ethics and gives room for personal development through education and skills for all despite social economic background. With a stable job in a non suffocating environment, we are secure in the knowledge that we can provide for ourselves and our households, we are confident in a perfect future for our children.

2. It may be difficult to have a world were all people are like minded or of the same temperament. But who are you electing into authority? To me security  means having in place approachable  leaders who are out for community development and progress and not selfish personal gains. Security means inclusion of women in leadership roles both at local and international level.

- Security means living in a community where women have the fundamental  freedom to vote into power leaders of their choice. Leaders who will stand for justice and human rights, leaders who believe in women empowerment and education for all, leaders who do not condone domestic/genderbased/cultural/ violence, leaders who have time for community development, rehabilitation and innovativation.

3. Children are the future, security means teaching them good moral values and etiquette that will allow them to live in harmorny with other people. Security is to find out "who is talking to your listening child". Worldwide women are considered the primary caregivers of all children  so if you hear something wrong do not hesitate to bring it to light. Secure your children's future by making time to nurture them in to the adults that you want them to be.

- Security means equipping your child with the knowledge, skills and wisdom to survive in your absence, in a bigger world, away from home.

- Security means affordable basic needs for your family - to have the resources to easily access clean water, food, medical attention, clothing, shelter, education, jobs, legal aid, transport and communication

4. Security means freedom to share and access information, interact with individuals of different mindset, to travel to different destinations without worrying about attacks due to culture, religion or gender  differences. Security means freedom of expression and equal opportunities in employment and education for women and girls respectively.

5. How prepared are we for disaster? Some years ago my mother's gardens were attacked by the army worm - tiny little Black caterpillars that ate every leaf or weak stem at a fast pace such that in a space of 24hours they had eaten over 2acres of ground nut crop. To stop them from multiplying the surrounding gardens were burnt down so that the worms could starve to death and not spread to the neighbouring farms. This did not worry my parents - they had saved some food and seeds in the granaries for sale and planting so they used this as they waited for the next planting season. My lessons from this were:

-  even where the army is strong and well equipped there are worse attacks from nature or stronger forces.....security means disaster preparedness or having savings for a rainy day. Do not live from hand to mouth - keep some for the future.

- sometimes we must incur losses to secure the needs of other people. My parents lost produce to prevent the army worm from attacking the neighbours' produce. Security means service above self.

6. Security means taking care of ones health. If you can avoid it, do so.....get immunized, use a condom, exercise, do not get addicted, do not abuse it, do not stigmatize, join the cause, reach out, stay away if your conscience says it's wrong, learn about it, talk to someone who can help, seek a higher authority or contribute financially to those who are doing research, promote support. Secure your health and that of your loved ones And DO IT NOW! Do not wait to get obese and then start to find expensive radical solutions to a life style disease.

7. Security means to be in a relationship where you matter, were the parties involved have mutual trust in each other, are secure in the long term plans they have for the future and have created their own safe space. I know of a legislator whose office role included counselling and empowering women. She performed this role very well and  hid from many of us the fact that her spouse was a violent man whose inferiority complex led him to feel threatened by her success and drew his satisfaction from whipping her with his leather belt every night. She never let this be known to the world because so many women looked up to her - until he over did it and she broke down one night and drove a knife through his neck while he slept leaving her children without parents as she is now in jail. Security means speaking out and finding solutions to our problems - personal or not. 

Security begins with you!