mes enfants sont négligés dans leur famille par ce que ils sont des orphelins.aucun membre de leur famille ne le considère,meme les biens que leur père avait laissé,leur oncle paternel les avait tout ravi car il sait que nous les femmes ici a l'Est nous n'avons pas a dire.il veut rendre mes enfants comme ses esclaves,moi comme leur maman je me force pour les aider en priant que Dieu m'aide pour qu'ils puissent grandir et qu'ils me consolent un jour.

English translation by PulseWire member JC2986

My children are neglected by their family because they are orphans and none of their family members consider them their own. The goods that their father had left with their paternal uncle made him happy because he knows that us women here in the East have no say. He wants to make my children his slaves just like he’s made me. I am forcing myself so that I can help them as I pray that God comes to my rescue so that that they can grow up and take care of me one day.

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My children are neglected by their family because they are orphans and none of their family members consider them their own. The goods that their father had left with their paternal uncle made him happy because he knows that us women here in the East have no say. He wants to make my children his slaves just like he’s made me. I am forcing myself so that I can help them as I pray that God comes to my rescue so that that they can grow up and take care of me one day.

Hello kabene,i am Alupo From neighboring Uganda, heard of it? thank you for sharing this with me and i am touched and honestly shocked by the actions of this uncle! Many times we women especially in Africa are faced with these kinds of situations and i believe its something that needs to be addressed. You mentioned that the paternal uncle had taken every thing from you and your children? this is sad! But is there not a single relative of your husband who supports you and are on good terms with you? Have you explored other avenues? where i come from we have what are known as clan leaders who do a lot of work for their members and this includes taking care of orphans and widows and their property, is it not the same there? the police and probation officers in my country have been so helpful so if you have something similar, do you think they could be of help? Alternatively are the local political leaders and women and human rights organizations, may be you could visit them if you have not yet? Also is there a course of action or ideas/ measures that you think and believe could be taken to help women in your region? Don't give up on you or your children and there is a definitely a God. take care of your self and hope to hear from you a gain.

Dear Kabene,

My heart aches for you and your children.... Patriarchal societies certainly are difficult to live in especially as a woman tending to children. I pray for you and your children. I hope that the support I provide to aid groups find their way to you.

Your courage to share your story here is remarkable. When we are all better educated about your plight, then we can take action to try to assist. Your strength provides your children with an important norm of behavior - that in utter devastation your will to survive is strong.

Are there other women in your village you can speak to? What about aid workers? Do you have any ideas about bringing women together to discuss these awful situations? Will your political leaders help? Can you tell me how you think I can help from the United States?

“Women have a special capacity to lead us to a more peaceful world with compassion, affection and kindness. And there is no more important time for that than this moment.” - Dalai Lama

Your life seems very difficult and you struggle for you and your children. It is sad that it seems as if so much depends on the behaviour of men who you find disregarding women. It’s important that you resist and don’t allow anyone to make anyone else a slave. I hope you find your own way that you and your children will be happy.

Dear Kabine,

You show great courage sharing your story, which as heart-wrenching as it is, it gives me great hope that a woman as strong as you, can get your story to me here in Boston, Massachusetts, USA. I ask myself, would I be as strong trying to protect my children and finding a way to share my story?

The writers of the previous comments made great suggestions. I do not know how feasible they are for you to act upon but know that by merely writing your experience so those of us around the world can read it is hopefully the first step in facilitating change for the next generation.

ALready you are modeling strength to your children.

Take Good Care of Yourself and I shall keep you in my heart.

Monica Lehner