AUTHORITY: earned or imposed?

There is a saying that if you want to know the real character of someone,give him authority or power as it is usually called over a jurisdiction,irrespective of the scope.
Research has revealed that most poeple come into power unexpectedly but most importantly un prepared,as a result they become tyrants, slave masters,lords...
Well...first things first, a very wise man I know and love said when the purpose of a thing is not known,abuse is inevitable.
What then is authority?
I will like to use this story to illustrate what I mean...
A friend of mine very hardworking,talented,passionate,intelligent you name it has been working all her life to make it to the top or atleast get recognition.
In a bid to impose herself,she has had to struggle with many issues more importantly the notion that people around her do not want her to succeed.This has built a defensive approach in her vis-a-vis others. A lot of tension has built up over the years and has culminated in a routine and atmosphere of false respect.
Now this friend of mine has been appointed to a position of authority over those she claims do not want to see him succeed.
Due to the events that have occurred in the past,my friend sees this (unconsciously) as an opportunity to get back at them and impose herself! SHe does so irrespective of what others say, the place, etc
She has become a tyrant and the situation has grown worse, people donot obey her out of respect but fear for their jobs not even her!
This brings me to what I firmly believe about authority,it is a reflection of who you really are on the inside.It is who you are and if on the inside you are respectful,kind, considerate,loving,gentle,patient,enduring...then those signals will be received by those around you and they will respect,honour,value you without you necessarily saying anything!
This is the catch,such virtues are not necessarily learnt, they are fruits of a relationship with God and fellow humans based on pure love!
It is humanly impossible! u doubt it?
Try to exhibit them by your human strength and I will be waiting for your report!