Talking to my mom about sexuality: "Of course, as much as you want, but don´t say 'orgasm'! Oh dear…what a profane word!!!" I bet a lot of Mexican moms would rather hear their daughters cursing than talking about their sexuality.
Movies for indecent people! At the International Forum for Disability Prevention North Region, organized by the National Network for Disability Prevention, two movies were showed to be followed by a discussion.
The first, Ocular Music, is a beautiful Mexican film done in Mexican sign language. It was hard enough to portray the deaf as people with regular lives, but it went on and dared to include a deaf gay character. Some did not like this touch and openly talked about its unsuitability for children and decent people, although the film does not show anybody naked or talk explicitly about sex.
The second movie was The Sessions about a guy with very reduced mobility who wanted to explore his sexuality. At the beginning there were about 200 people in the audience. By the time the movie was over only a very few brave souls stayed to discuss such a provocative topic. A few people with disabilities talked about the denial of their sexuality. Don’t the disabled also have innate sexuality? Why are the disabled seen as asexual?
Mexican women talking about their sexuality: A booty shake, a deafening scream and a breached right. During the following dinner, some of us began to talk about how our own mothers have encouraged us to ignore our sexual nature. I asked them: when did you share with your mother your right to orgasm?
The lyrics sang out, “I’m the boss of your most urgent part, I’m the crafter of your most human part, I´m the commander of your front part” Estela started singing along and dancing with her wheel chair. This explicit song was the one through which she discovered her sexual being before her mortified mother´s eyes. Her mother replied strongly, “A decent single lady would never sing such a song considering you have no clue what it means.” From then on, Estela was not allowed to go on dates without a chaperon or buy any colorful undergarments.
For Paola’s mom, reality came in a noisy way considering Paola is deaf. Her mother was supposed to be at work all night. Paola smiles and her whole body talks while recalling the anecdote. Her mom thought somebody was robbing the house and hurting her. After all, Paola was making noises her mom had never heard before. Fortunately, reaching an orgasm, Paola could not be better. Her mom was upset as hell and has never worked night shifts again.
Vilma sighed and quoted a congresswoman who has recently declared: “blind people should be banned from marrying because they can not see each other while making love” It was hard enough to deal with her mother complaining about Vilma’s new role as single mother and now even female politicians were meddling in her privacy. “What is next? Will they put me in jail because I’m breastfeeding my baby and I cannot see her tiny mouth?”
As for me, few weeks ago was the first time I talked with my mom openly about my sexual rights. She may have changed her view of me now, but it did not make me a less of a woman, just one who wants and deserves all her rights to be enjoyed and guaranteed. I am sure my mom can not agree more! Even if one of those rights implies the profanity of “orgasm”.
Moms for the right to orgasm. If we would have the guts to touch ourselves as a preventive measure we would probably not see the high rates of breast and cervical cancer we see in Mexico. Therefore, we would have to encourage all the coming generations to assert their sexual beings and safeguard their wellbeing as well. Not in terms of the quality or quantity of their orgasms -although that would not be a bad idea- but in terms of more Estelas, Paolas, Vilmas and Klaudias singing spicy songs, wearing bright underwear, and screaming with pleasure even if you can not hear yourself or making love even if you can not see your partner’s eyes.
Of course, rights come with responsibilities. So Mexican moms, instead of denying our right to orgasm, teach us to carry it on with full responsibility! Who wants to be second? Because my mom has already started!
This article is part of a writing assignment for Voices of Our Future a program of World Pulse that provides rigorous digital media and citizen journalism training for grassroots women leaders. World Pulse lifts and unites the voices of women from some of the most unheard regions of the world.
Take action! This post was submitted in response to Voices of Our Future 2013 Assignments: Op-Eds.