Women/Girls’ Bully part 2
Here comes part two of women and girls’ bullying. The response from part one has been mind- blowing and I believe this is an important topic for the well-being of children, and adults as well. The grown women you see in leadership positions today leading as tyrants were once little girls which means bullies grow up. While their tactics might change, many continue the destructive behaviors they formed in childhood by creating a very hostile environment for the people around them. Bullying among girls is something that has been overlooked. However, this articles should serve as a wakeup call to us because most often, society has treated the girl child as a victim of violence undermining the part she plays in causing this violence. I want to believe that addressing this issue among our girls is a better way of reducing future problems caused by women.With contributions from Sally Mafor.
Here are the answers to some questions that were asked by those who read Part 1 of the article.
Q -1.When girls bully other girls, it is often because of their own inadequacies? If yes, what is/are the causes of these inadequacies?
Q-2.What do you think is an antidote to these inadequacies?
[*] A) Yes! Many women and girls bully others usually due to their own weaknesses, insecurities and fears. To prop themselves up and feel powerful, they feel this void by diminishing, intimidating and putting others down. There are so many reasons why women/girls bully but the most common ones are comparison, competition, jealousy, envy and the need to be noticed. These however can take subtle and vicious forms. I believe strongly that bullying stems from that inner place of personal insecurity mixed with deep social expectations of trying to fit in the status quo. This should and must be a wakeup call to us all because society has mostly treated the girl child as a victim of violence undermining the part she played to cause the violence
[*] B) As God’s children, we all have our unique flaws. No one on the face of this earth is perfect. Realizing, valuing and coming to terms with our own differences and uniqueness is very challenging, yet can be the most rewarding thing in our lives ;as this is greatest antidote to insecurities and violence among women and girls. Only when you look at yourself in the mirror and have the courage and braveness to accept and embrace your impactions joyfully, completely and with pride, then you will start living life on your own terms. When your self-esteem is healthy and your confidence that high, you won't feel the need to prop yourself up by diminishing the people around you because you know thyself.An added benefit here is that, you allow others to stand tall around you without being a threat to you. You also learn to stand on your own instead of the need to fit in the status quo.
Comparison is poison in itself so avoid it as much as possible. Instead of wasting time comparing and competing, invest that time in working on making you a first rated version of yourself than an imitation of someone else.
Believe in yourself, in who you are and in your own abilities.
Here are other instances of bullying among women/girls you need to know.
[*] Have you even been in a school environment where girls from rich homes form gang and wouldn’t mingle with girls from poor homes? These big girls want to be recognized or have power but once things are not going their way, they become bullies and guess who their victims are? Those girls from lower economic backgrounds. They are then laughed at and teased by these big girls. Whatever attires they wear to school or social gatherings become an object of scorn that further breaks down their interest to socialize and eventually affects their academic performance due to lack of focus. School absenteeism among these victims is usually high. Many girls have been known to completely drop out of school because of this behavior by girls from so call rich homes.
[*] Girls who are high achievers in class also turn to be victims. When a particular girl seems to be getting all the high grades in text while the big, rich and popular ones are not making the grades. There is the tendency for the big girls to become jealous, thus they start to device all means to diminish her in order for her academic performance to drop.
[*] Have you ever experience the mean head-toe look you get when you walk into some offices by women? That is big time bullying.
[*] Another very cruel form of bullying is the way some women maltreat their house helps.
What can we do as leaders or communities to stop bullying among women/girls?
[*] Charity begins at home so in order to stop bullying our children need to be educated on who they are right from the home by their parents. A good moral education and especially decent Christian upbringing would reduce both the incidence and effects of bullying.
[*] “Some form of disciplinary action should also be meted on those who bully others to set an example.
[*] Role play sessions in workshops should be organized in which the girls are taught peer love and respect for one another. By acting this out they'll be practicing to do and more of such practice would shape their behavior towards a positive change.
[*] Girls should be complimented even when they perform low in class by words that encourage them to try again. Like "you can do this” you have it in you” don't give up” etc. This enables them to look at others as role models than as threats. And when they know who they are in Christ they will love everyone as Christ loves them and will help everyone grow without animosity. Parents should start playing their roles differently so that their children will not become bullies when they go out into the world”. with contributions from Lia LordIs Able
Teachers and parents can play such an important role in helping children develop this kind of self-confidence and self-esteem that will also allow them to develop tolerance and compassion.
[*] Having a course like this being a part of our schools, women’s groups and other community forums would free up so much loving energy for selves and each other. I Love to believe that addressing this issue among our girls is a better way of reducing future problems caused by women
[*] And as a last word; never let opinions, hate, criticism, or judgements to push you to cause pain to others. Giving pain to others won’t heal yours.