To my birth father

laughterlove
Posted September 19, 2010 from Canada

The loss you feel makes me sad. It makes me feel worse knowing only I can fill it, but won't. I feel the loss too, and only you could fill it too, but I won't let you. Because I would rather have an empty space than a space filled with verbal assaults, conflict and pain. I thank you for my life, and I'm so sorry that you never really knew how to love. Your "terrorist loving idiot" daughter. PS I will leave the door open, just a crack, in case one day you learn

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  • noreens
    Sep 19, 2010
    Sep 19, 2010

    Laughterlove,

    So simply put but it grabs at the heart. Your pain shows through the few words that you posted here. I am sorry for your pain. I am sure it's hard to keep the door open, but it's good that you are - even if only a crack. You never know - maybe one day both of your pain will, maybe not heal, but lessen. Wishing you lots of love!

    Noreen

  • laughterlove
    Sep 20, 2010
    Sep 20, 2010

    Thanks Noreen. I wrote this immediately after I told him I thought it was healthier for both of us that we not try to be in each other's lives. I was struggling with the guilt and sadness for him that he has a daughter that has no interest in knowing him. I do not miss his presence in my life anymore, and yet I feel some sense of obligation towards him.