To answer Jade's question
By now you have all heard of Dr. Laura's repeated dropping of the N word. A lot of bloggers have discussed the issue in detail in whether deciding Dr.Laura was in the wrong. But what everyone has forgotten about is Jade. Jade is the woman who called aksing for advice about how to deal with her white husband and her white husbands friends racist remarks. So on the off chance the Jade might come across this, I want to answer her question in the manner it should have been answered.
Jade, Your husband and his friends are completely out of line. You cannot summarize ANY group into a stereotype. So for them to ask "Do black people think this, or do this, or like this", is racist within itself by implying that every single black person has the same exact opinion. Also, I am concerned as to why they think that you should be the representative for an entire race of people? It seems a bit outrageous for them to demand that of you. Now the fact that you and your husband fell in love and got married says to me he is not a hopeless case. But what is apparent is that he is not very undertsanding how offensive he and his friends are being. Maybe he does not truly find the questions offensive, maybe he does but is too chicken shit to stand up to his friends, maybe he is a little racist but won't admit it. I would bring it up to him and simply state that although he might not see it that way, the questions and comments being directed to you about your race are offensive. You do not speak for your whole race, and every member of your race does not agree exactly on all topics. That would be like asking him or his friends, "So is it true that all white guys have small penises and are terrible in bed?" or "Is it true that all white people cannot cook?" or "Is it true that all white people's idea of a good time is drinking beer and hunting?". They would feel offended at the fact that you were trying to lump them into a homogenous group, especially with shurtful stereotypes. Explain to him that it might be funny to him and his friends, but it hurts your feelings and is starting to make you question your marriage to him. If he cannot take this for what it is and apologize for his behavior, than I would say he probably is not going to apologize. If he loved you enough to marry you, he should love you enough to respect your feelings. I mean, if he is like this with you , how would he be towards your children who will be a mixture of races (assuming you two plan on having children)? His attitude towards race as somewhat of a joke will be completely damaging to you and your possibel future children. This is something that needs to be dealt with now before it escalates and gets out of hand. Do not keep quiet and do not let it slide, you deserve to be respected by your husband and his friends.
- for the transcript of the original call to Dr. Laura go to http://starcasm.net/archives/60802*