NOT NATURE BUT NURTURE

She snarled at me that I was a poor girl abandoned by her parents who screwed up, a burden to her while I was working hard to take care of her four children, helping her elderly mother, being called every time someone needed something. I only got time to think clearly was when it was time to sleep. This was my life when I was 12 years old because when my parents divorced, I lost the ability to live with my loving siblings and parents. I was sent to live with a distant family­-- people who were free to express that they didn't appreciate me. It was routine to be reminded that I am a poor girl whose parents screwed up. The kids hurled all kinds of insults at me- the most hurtful were about my family.

My life in that house was miserable- I was in charge of way too many chores, sent to school without transport stipend and most of the time ate only once a day at dinner. Instead of being nurtured and shaped, I was being insulted, discouraged and held back from making my life better. There was a rule for me about everything and respecting it was much easier than not because the consequences were more painful, what made it even harder was that I could go whole year without seeing my mother or hearing from her. Many years went by without a visit from my siblings and friends. I was isolated with no one to talk to about what was happening to me.

One day when I couldn’t take it any longer, I went and talked to my aunt about it. She offered me to move in with her family. I am now thankfully living with a wonderful aunt and uncle who treat me as their daughter. My aunt and uncle encourage me to study, and they give me enough time to study. I participate in activities and have friends. Now I have a strong sense of worth. I am happy, hopeful, confident and able to emotionally support other girls going through the same things I was going through.

The emotional abuse I went through has led me to understand that a problem like this affects the whole of someone's life and can affect society as well. It is a problem that is hard to explain because only those who go through it can comprehend it. Low self-esteem, anger, bitterness, hatred and loss of self worth are often a result of this type of abuse and may lead to crimes that affect the world.

Understanding this moved me to create a club called Mother Daughter Empowerment Club. We are twelve girls and twelve mentors who listen to each other, talk to each other and hug each other. We give each other natural therapy using our ears, words and arms. It can't be put to words unless you come and see for yourself. In our club we invite role model women to come and answer questions we have about life. These girls get to understand themselves, love themselves and extend their knowledge of the power of emotions to a crowd of at least twenty people at every gathering.

I have derived so much satisfaction from creating this club and seeing how an idea that came from my past experience help so other girls become better versions of themselves. I have come to terms with my past because I have learned that I can make use of my painful experience by helping other girls in the same situation.

Food, water, shelter, clothes, medication are crucial and necessary for everyone to live. But love, kindness, peace, security, confidence and mental health determine what kind of life you live and who you become. Emotions affect the brain and the brain does all the work. So if we are promoting anything: peace, success, creativity, inventions let us start with building emotional well being, then the world will be transformed.