My Dad had always wanted a boy, but we ended up with three girls, me being the oldest. He wanted a son so badly that his nickname for me when I was young was a boy’s name, and I had the ugliest boy’s haircut until I was halfway into high school. Even though not life-or-death detrimental, it’s had a huge impact on me as I grow older, trying to make sense of who I am as a woman. To this day, feeling and embodying being feminine is something I have to consciously work at, and is still learning everyday. As we raise a new generation of girls and make efforts to re-teach our world that wholeness and power is both masculine AND feminine, what does it really mean to “empower girls”, and most importantly, HOW do we do this on a daily basis?

First, I think it requires us to take a close and in-depth look at what we currently believe about girls. Certain concepts are so ingrained in us that we might be the biggest advocates for girls empowerment but still unconsciously say or do things that degrade what it means to be a girl or feminine. “Crying is for girls” or “you run like a girl” are common things we say and hear that naturally reinforce that being a girl is weak and not a winner. Taking the time to slow down and observe what we say will be a powerful first step to examine what we believe about girlhood. We can only start to change what we are aware of, and this change starts with us.

Next, let us re-think what it means to be POWERFUL…after all, to “empower” is to bring out the power within. True power is authentic, whole, and serves on the highest level. In daily life, this translates into reaffirming our girls that their power and beauty lies in their spirit, their whole range of intelligences, and their ability to love the world.

  • Power and beauty in spirit – Teach our girls that what’s truly powerful is not temporary or destructible. A beautiful dress or a nice body can be great temporarily, but what happens if they are destroyed or gone? True beauty and power lies in what never goes away: in what we say, in our actions, in our spirit, and in our intentions, despite what we wear or what our bodies look like.

  • Wholeness of intelligence – Strengthen in our girls the whole range of intelligences that exist in all human beings, both masculine and feminine, logical and emotional, rational and intuitive. There is no such thing that science or sports are only for boys or that girls should be the only ones learning how to cook. The most powerful and efficient is when we utilize all aspects of our brain and being. We need to encourage our girls to grow in all areas of inner thinking and outer skills, to practice listening to their inner guidance and then actualize that wisdom by expressing it outward through actions.

  • Ability to love – Perhaps the most powerful and the most magnetic is to remind our girls that, in alignment with what it means to be a girl, is the essence to choose, to lead, and to create what is LOVING for the world. Teach our girls to respect themselves and others. Teach our girls to nurture themselves and others. Teach our girls to affirm themselves and others. Teach our girls to love themselves and others. Therefore, teaching our girls that what we do to ourselves, we do to the world and vice versa. So to empower the world, we girls must first empower ourselves.

Thank you to all those who remind our girls to go within themselves, to find the power that is already there. Now we practice voicing it, amplifying it, showing it, magnifying it…in boldly loving ways.

With love, Lola

Empower Girls. Change the World.

Comment on this Post


Hi Lola

Wow, how powerful,you know to me you are so amazing.Indeed girls around the globe needs to be taught.As you said and explined in three paragraphs with star ie POWER & BEAUTY IN SPIRIT, WHOLENESS OF INTELLIGENCE, ABILITY TO LOVE. I am so touched,i wish even girls around here would have the opportuinity to be addressed by you.We need to arise and teach these girls to be strong leaders of tommorow.

I am not amazed at your words, no wonder Lola, most of our girls are carried away to wrong destinations most of the time.And what do we do,The only thing to overcome all these things is to action are duties to overcome these obstacles team up with the servants of God for some of these barriers are demonic so we need to untie the world by prayer. So let us stand and arise for the light has come through World pulse.

Be rest assured that we shall overcome in mentoring these, kip going gal.

Thank you for strongest words



"success will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time " And when confronted conquer with love

You speak out of experience and it is said that experience is the best teacher. It will really be nice to mentor girls on the daily challenges ahead of them so as to prepare them for the future.

Keep the spirit high in whatever you are doing.


''Every woman have a story at every stage of Life''

Sweet Lola, Thank you very much for posting this as promised. You are powerful and I love the work you do-empowering girls globally. You weave in with your personal life story. Love it! You give us perspective in to empowerment, educating as more on the girls empowerment journey.

I love your line- 'True beauty and power lies in what never goes away: in what we say, in our actions, in our spirit, and in our intentions, despite what we wear or what our bodies look like'.

With your experience in empowering girls in Asia and other parts of the world, I wanted to find out if there are some cultural aspect of empowerment we need to be sensitive to.

In deep appreciation

Gifty Pearl Abenaab Founder Greight Foundation

Dear Lola,

Thanks for sharing your experiences; it is touched my heart. What people done to label girls and boys is based on their expectation to the traditional gender roles based on stereotyping. Girls are pink; boys are blue - girls are crying and boys are fighting; and so on.

We are thinking further there is no color; it is supposed to be all or either one is ok. However, we have to admit the background stereotyping are coming from observation. Human noticed there are gender disparities - differences and or preferences between girls and boys. Many young mothers are not accepting their sons were given 'pink baby clothes' or I don't think you agree to give boys 'barbie' dolls... It seems that people took the spirits of being girls and boys mistakenly. Women have received a noble mission to be partners of men to build families; due to they have reproductive function while the men don't have it. The women have special nurturing characteristic, detailed observers, subjective observance; more chances to get involved in water sanitation, education, environment, family care etc. The modern gender egalitarian ethos should be promoted more. Men and women are partners!

The fact is no body can change girls into boys by just changed their clothes or their toys or the way they live. You witness it and admit it in your life. In fact, tom-boys (girls) feel inconvenience and or 'mommy's boys' are also in trouble for their psychological development. The parents were misleadingly tried to change girls into boys due to they are obstructed by the power of men as the macro economy controller, the leaders, the strength as heroes and so on. They forget to empower the girls/women from their parities of feminine with the increased roles and functions. They forget women/girls could also be in the 'higher power' as men/boys; though not having energy as 'strong' as the male. See Mother Theresa, Queen Elizabeth, Margaret Tatcher, Michelle Obama and so on.

I talked to my niece, as girl you must smell good, looks pretty and sweet - if you looked messy, smell bad and similar like boys why God created men and women? This is not stereotype; but we hope for gender in proper positions and relations; however gender equality must be performed. Equal access, opportunity, benefit and control. To have it you don't have to change yourself to be boys or men...!

There are supposed to be a harmony within gender relationship; as partners, complement to each other. I am glad that many girls now are trying to empower themselves; yes... you could be women leaders due to many areas that men actually are not involved in majority; such as reproductive health, family nutrition, water sanitation, children care etc. After empowered yourself only, you could empower others... No body in prison could help other people outside nor even helping other prisoners.

Move on girls, be the agents of changes! a prayer from a granny with Love, Faith and Hope!