Who am I?

From as far back as i can remember i have always known i was diffrent, in what way i cannot say but deep within me my true self beckoned to me to walk a journey on a road least travelled...as i grew older i thought to myself, ii can just fit in and be like everyone else i will be alright behave like a proper young lady and not end up in a fistfight with one of the boys...and even though at every turn i tried inside it never felt right to compromise who i am to fit in and make everyone else happy there were flashes of brilliance here and there words of encoragement spoken, "if she applies herself the sky is the limit" but somehow to appease something or someone i just laways managed to do just enough.....school ends and life in essence begins a young lady poised for greatness!!! I never kept a job for more than 2 years, always moving, always looking for something more..... that special something that my soul yearned for a sense of accomplishment of finally realising all tha potential that was bottled up inside me, when was i going to get to be me.............

I changed towns and moved to the big city, the place were dreams were made, hello Harare i am finally here..the freedom of being on my own defining my own schedule no one looking over my shoulder to ask what time i got home, or wher i've been..that's when i met him...confident, tall and cocky the bad boy my mother told me to stay away from. I would see him preiodically and he would always ask , "so when are we going out?". Thus began the intricate web of a relationship, we lauhed we played, we had fun and made love.....or was it just sex hmmm??? Life was good we had each other work and the rest of our lives in between, ah but there was suprise in store...a baby!! Wait a minute!!! we had not thought that far, we're not ready to be parents!!! Strangley i embraced it i could not believe that i was carrying a life , my baby.....

My plans had never included this being a mother on her own no man to support her...looking back i realise if not me then who, who could i have traded this experience the good, the bad, the ugly, the anger the dissapointments, the broken relationships, mistrust and consequences, the coices i made who??

Here i am a grown woman, finally understanding who i am and it's like i have come full circle i'm back at that place i know i am different, i was born to make a diffrence, but now the voice i louder and will not be scilenced it has ingrained it'self in me..... Why am i am here? What is purpose? What legacy am i leaving for my son? It was never about me..and it took me so long to understand that it's about what i have bought forth into the world my gifts, my fruit, my spirit.... it was never about me but about my miracle, the apple of my eye my son.......

I know you are out there maybe feeling the same...together we will make this world better we will elave our children a generational inheritence i'n mot only taling about money here but of welath in every area of thier life in relationships well rounded well balanced individuals...heal me...heal me....