It seems so strange that over a month has past by without me! I mean, I lived day to day and got through each day but nothing creative happened much during that time. It seems that one day it was the beginning of August and then suddenly I find it is the middle of September.

It is funny since I now have much more compassion for the chronically ill then ever before. I never knew before I somehow got allergies this summer how draining it is to feel ill for a long time. For me, it was mostly annoying then a serious condition but the effects were felt so strongly that I think I should bring some attention to how damaging it can be to feel ill for an extended period of time like that.

If you read my previous journals then you know we (my 4 daughters and I) bounced back from bad marriage but that left me feeling inspired and ready and willing to change the world and myself for the better. This allergy thing though left me feeling drained and emotionally exhausted in a different way. Instead of feeling inspired to improve things I just wanted to get through another day. While my brain still thought up great articles by the time I got to the computer and got my fingers on the keyboard I felt too tired to write right then so would put it off to the next day. Then I find that not only days have passed but weeks, yikes!

I was thinking it is much like the way depression can effect you but instead of being depressed in the mind it is somehow your body itself that is depressed, if that makes any sense... Where your mind still functions mostly like normal but the energy to do things is gone and the feeling is sort of like the idea that tomorrow you will feel more like yourself and do it then but then tomorrow never comes.

I am feeling so much better and so ready to write more but still find it so hard to believe that a month has passed like this! Where did it go and can we do a sort of "do-over" so I can get back those missed thoughts and ideas that never got written? My daughters were mentioning to me that they missed me on World Pulse a lot and I kept saying I would write something soon, don't worry but time just kept passing me by. I think I did write one post during that time but then a few days later began to worry I was dying since I felt so horrible at night. It was just a few nights, thankfully, that I felt so badly but it made me think of a lot of things I want to accomplish "before I go" or however you put it!

So, I wanted to get something posted so my girls can read I am so much better and getting active again here and bouncing back. I think they got worried since I love writing so much but didn't do much this summer like I had planned. The other night I was typing up ideas that I had had during that time and it was about 4am by the time I got them down. Yikes! So I will hopefully find time during the days to get some writing done but usually find inspiration at nighttime. That was one thing we really loved about homeschooling is we could do the classes in the evenings if we wanted since sometimes that is when we all felt alert and interested.

I think one of my first journals mentioned that, how you have to make choices like that and sometimes you do need to choose to do what you love creatively. I missed that so much this summer but hopefully will get back into it quickly!

I hope to get caught up on the missed posts soon and look forward to meeting all the new people who joined!



Comment on this Post


Hi Maria! Nice to see you back! I'm also undergoing the same process as you - time is really very milited for me to write. But i tried my best to be here even by reading posts from correspondent friends. Don't worry - you're not alone!

missing you, malaya

I hope to get caught up very soon and it is so nice to be back among all the amazing woman on here! I hope you are doing good and your delays were just being busy and not being sick!



Welcome back,

We are in need of your voice. Please don't leave us again, we are like orphans without you.

Have you tried chamomile? I suffered from a very harsh attack from allergies, involving all kinds of treatments, big number of doctors and lots of money, which has come to be controlled for two years now thanks to drinking chamomile tea, at first something like a liter a day, and afterwards, when it was better, just one or two cups a day. Right now I only have it when I feel the first stings of the allergy, and I get better at once.

Lots of love to you,


Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva Tarija - Bolivia South America

Hi there! Wow, I have missed you! I have been drinking a lot of teas but differing flavors but Chamomile is in half of them so hopefully that is enough! One of my favorites is one called Tension Tamer that has a great taste plus chamomile.

How have you been?



Hi Maria,

So glad you are well, now.

Was wondering where you were@. I wish you well,as you start your piece. You can do it. It's better late than never!! Welcome back...we need you here!


Stella Ndugire- Mbugua ICS- Africa

Hi there, how is everything with you? I hope to get caught up very soon! This is the busiest time of the year for us with planning the lessons for the homeschooling but at least this year it is just for the 1 daughter instead of all of them! We look forward to another great year though.




I am happy that you are feeling better physically. During your struggle with allergies, your body needed to rest and repair. Now that you are stronger, you will begin to tap into your creativity again. It seems there are many things in a woman's life that keeps her from her creativity. I have a habit of waking up every morning an hour before my family so that I can make a hot cup of tea and spend time with my personal journal. I write every morning. There are times, though, when I am worn down or ill and I can not get out of bed at 4:00 a.m. I listen to my body on those days and sleep. Part of creativity for me is listening to my body and my heart and not letting my mind control everything.

As your midwife, I am eager to see your VOF pieces. I will check in regularly to see if you have posted. I am so happy that you are back and ready to move forward.

With love,


Hi Maria,

It is so wonderful to see you back on PulseWire. We've missed you and we've missed your voice! It's great to see you've found your footing again and I enjoy reading your posts, comments and thoughts this week.

Love, Jade