I just released my new book; Are you Husband Material: Reversing the Conventional Probing

Marie Abanga
Posted December 21, 2018 from Cameroon

Wow here I am at 6 books in 5 years. It's been one big thrilling journey of embracing my pain, processing it, releasing same, sharing it all, claiming my healing and Are you Husband Material? Reversing the Conventional probing was inspired by the awkward though conventional question some gentleman asked me in December 2016. He asked me if I was wife material because I was hesitating responding to his offer to marry me. It didn’t make sense to me that I should at my age and circumstance, still get asked such a question.

I mean, if at 37 with three kids you could be asked even if you didn’t seem ‘desperate’ to be a wife, imagine how much younger ladies should be dealing with in their strive to be wives. In our conventional societies where it seems getting married is the highest of achievements especially for women, preparing yourself to be wife material is actually right next to being taught how to be a girl. Conventional society expects girls to play with dolls, learn to cook pretty quick, do as their mums do so that daddy or their brothers are not embarrassed, not to talk of a potential suitor.

But what of the boys and men? Are they groomed to be husbands too? Do they ever get the flip question too? I had never heard of any until I decided to embark on this other literary project. It is with all candour, my best book so far. I mean, as a mother of all boys, what a pleasure for me to provide such a book which helps them groom themselves and check their intentions ‘well well’ if marriage is their choice. Indeed, I think men even have a bigger role to play in conventional society because they are the heads right?

The current statistics on failed/failing/or non contracted marriages also warrants some real soul searching. I decided to take the path less traveled and focus on men, giving the plethora of literature available on women and their preparation/expectations/obligations and all in between in a marriage.

And then there is so much domestic violence, abuse and all going on, you wonder if something isn't wrong with the very foundation fabric in our communities.

I have no doubt this book will make a good read and generate lots of brainstorming.

Available in Cameroon at: https://www.arreybuy.com/product/are-you-husband-material-by-marie-abanga/

Available on the Amazon in Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L9ZNBVC

Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1791582877

Kindly visit my author page for more on all my books: https://www.amazon.com/Marie-A.-Abanga/e/B00ILM7IJK

ISBN: 9781791582876 Imprint: Independently published

Be inspired and motivated to own your story and make the best of life while you are it.

Comments 15

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Seka
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018

Chère Marie,
Comme j'aimerais lire ces livres! J'ose croire qu'ils contiennent des vérités pouvant répondre à nos attentes. Courage, c'est une bonne manière pour atteindre les hommes.
Bon succès ainsi que toutes les bonnes choses pour ce nouvel an.
Seka

Marie Abanga
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018

Cher Seka,

Merci beaucoup. Esperons qu'ils lisent lol. Oui je devoue 2 ans pour produire ce livre. Merci beaucoup. C'est helas seulement en anglais pour l'instant. Bien des choses a toi aussi ma soeur.
Marie

jlanghus
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018

Hi Marie,

OMG. This is awesome. I love the message and video:-) I hope it gets circulated everywhere!!! Seriously.

I definitely think it's just as important for them to be groomed to be good role models and good husbands, just as much as women. I don't think they need to be the "heads" of the family, though.

Keeping moving onward and upward, you trailblazer, you!

Marie Abanga
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018

Dear Jill,

Thank you so much. I hope they read too. I actually hope women buy it and offer to the men in their lives that way there is no pretense they (men) never knew about the book hahaha. As for being a 'head' it is more typical in our society back here and my primary audience is us back here lol

jlanghus
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018

Hello dear:-)

You're welcome. Yes, that makes sense, but that doesn't mean it can't or won't change, even if it takes awhile:-) And, I think your book has a wider appeal than just your primary audience, it sounds like to me:-)

Marie Abanga
Dec 29, 2018
Dec 29, 2018

Dear Jill,

That is my Hope to be earnest

jlanghus
Dec 30, 2018
Dec 30, 2018

And, so it is:-)

Kay Link
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018

Wow, Marie I am SO excited to read this book. I have just purchased on Amazon and cannot wait to send you love and positivity for your dynamic, intelligent, and powerful words. This is a great subject as it is so true women are asked this question often. I see many women in my life asking themselves if they are being the best wife/girlfriend/etc for their partners or if they are good enough to be "wife material" - but I have never heard men ask themselves this. Thank you for sharing!

Marie Abanga
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018

Dear Kay, thank you so so much. Indeed, I wanted to flip the coin and do so in a level headed way after lots of research. For my sons most especially, it is important they grow up knowing they have to be husbands material or else don't waste a lady's time hahaha.
looking forward to your review. The examples may be more typical African cause that's my society, but feel free to let me know your critique in its entirety.
In appreciation
Marie

Kay Link
Dec 26, 2018
Dec 26, 2018

I am looking forward to diving in and reading your perspective. I am glad to see examples from your point of view and environment as your experiences will lend strength to your writing. You have a strong voice and I enjoy reading your posts, so I know I will enjoy this book. Many thanks to you, Marie and thank you for sharing your work with us.

Marie Abanga
Dec 28, 2018
Dec 28, 2018

Thank you Kay,

It's my pleasure. I attract only what and who I want, I write for my sisters using my personal experiences and am always so touched when a sister feedbacks they find it soulful. Can't wait to have your critique of the book

Sis. Salifu
Dec 21, 2018
Dec 21, 2018

Wish you the best on your new release :-)
Regards

Marie Abanga
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018

Thank you so much Lis

Karen Quiñones-Axalan
Dec 26, 2018
Dec 26, 2018

Wow, such bravery you got there, dear sister Marie! Congratulations!

I plan to write a book on 2019. Your accomplishments are encouraging. I hope it will be a best-seller!

Marie Abanga
Dec 28, 2018
Dec 28, 2018

Dear Karen,
Be inspired+motivated. I don't have hopes for it to become bestseller because I didn't write in a context where that could be possible. It is a self published book, in a country with a very low if at all reading culture. But, my joy was in the writing. My dad was at the book's launching and that was huge for me.
Be encouraged
Marie