I made a lot of errors in my life, as anyone else.

I believe in the power of errors, however. Once you realize you've made, you are on the way of learning to not repeat them, if possible; and more important, to map them so that others have an opportunity to fall in the same.

I'm more or less in the middle of my life (I hope!), and now active in the field of atmospheric physics, on a practical-application level. I'm in deep and irreversible love with this field, and more generally with the Earth sciences. I sincerely can't say I have something real to blame me for. But, I have an experience I feel urged to share - it might be useful.

Thanks to a collection of opportunities I can't exhaustively list, I had the incredible luck to go university. In the time I was in love with biology but, the first of my family aiming at a degree, I decided taking courses of mathematics. Job opportunities were higher there, be them teaching or software development. Mathematics did attract me too, although not with the same intensity as biology, so I didn't suffer a real dilemma.

No special glory, no special blame. I've got my degree in applied mathematics, finally, more or less in time. I wasn't especially brilliant, but worked hard trying to survive the hard selection. Retrospectively I can't explain how I did succeed, but I finished the course and took my degree. What's more important for my immediate survival, I found a job as computer programmer a couple months before presenting my thesis.

This is not so a special story, of course, and is not worth mentioning any more.

What's interesting, instead, is how I didn't gain my doctorate in physiology. Now I've made it, and as far as I'm concerned there is little I can do to remedy. Nor, as I told, I'm driven to: my current professional life, more akin to geology, is something deeply satisfying me and fulfilling my passions.

But on that time, all of this was all but evident.

I told I was in deep love with biology. I and my parents didn't afford I took two degrees, but nothing prevented me from following "unofficially" some courses in biology and ecology. There I met a professor, one of the geniuses I've met in my life, who asked me to join his doctorate in quantitative physiology.

He was so, so kind, to give me some material. He knew from a friend of mine, a professor in the department of ecology, I was taking courses of mathematics, and was interested in quantitative biology in the large. So, he gave me some material so I could evaluate.

I did, and realized that was beyond my possibilities of comprehension.

More precisely, I saw the strange delay-differential equations involved and acknowledged I didn't know them in that moment. I love feeling confident on something before claiming I've something to say on it, and I can arrive at this point only if I have time, and calm, to explore the subject extensively. If I can't, I feel at unease. And that was one of these cases.

On that impression, I thanked the professor for his great consideration, and refused to join the program.

Another candidate replaced me. He jumped just in, naturally, without imagining which immense sea of troubles he was about to face. This didn't bother him, apparently. Maybe, that was because of sheer unconsciousness (he was a biology student, with almost no preparation in mathematics), or self-assurance. But, he joined the program and, as I know, got his doctorate.

The sad point is, I later discovered the professor designed the program for me<\em>, looking for someone to carry on a passion similar to his. How much I must have deluded him...

I didn't ask, on that time, beginning to blame myself even before having given the program a try.

In retrospective, I see clearly a pattern behind this first unfortunate event. In fact, I admit having never asked. It seems to me so horribly dirty, yucky and deeply inhonest to brag for something I can't give, still today, and I find easier to just do, the best and harder I can, hoping someone will notice, and praise or reward me.

And "they" notice you, of course. They do. The opposite you hope.

In the companies I was there were ugly things like glass ceilings, and I developed an extensive experience of regularly hitting them. But the greatest reason I was routinely underpaid was, I now see, I expected my effort were acknowledged. Some of my bosses did, but this way of doing sends you in the middle of nowhere.

I feel now myself in professional plenitude, doing a job I love, and sharing ownership of a tiny, yet vital, company. To get there, my path was so long however, and tortuous.

Ask, then, please ask.

Have a try, explore opportunities. It's too late for me maybe, but not for you!

(And stay sure, as now I know the trick, I'll try out my own personal testing ;-) )

And, you can. My Terrible Equations were not that ferocious, after all.

There is nothing a human mind, with the proper love, enthusiasm and determination, can not reach.

Let's just ask a bit more!

Mauri

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In my own story, I had some of this. Not in the same way, but much likely. I wonder why we do this. Us, women, usually flee from opportunities knocking our door and afterwards we regret it.

Writing about this will make many young women think twice before rejecting opportunities. Hopefully they will not take things for granted, and hopefully, they will find their path in shorter times.

I am so thankful for your post!

Love,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva Tarija - Bolivia South America www.jap21.wordpress.com

Jackie, thank very much of your reply!

Yes, it happens. And it shouldn't.

What's ironical, as far as I've seen, is that most people (at least te one I know) don't take a stand.

I'm beginning to wonder whether there might be something we can do differently.

See, in a radical differently way.

Don't know, maybe for myself I'll come back to study as I'll have time.

But now I'm feeling a burning drive, to help and share. Beginning from the many errors I've made, maybe. After all, the road driving you right to the waterfall like Wile E. Coyote can be mapped, isn't it? ;-)

(I confess, I feel having a lot in common with Wile E. Coyote ;-) )

I have also to say you: I feel "guilty". With, and without double quotes. As I live in Italy, I know living in something like a paradise (although we, by our "national character" (?), have a great talent to turn it in a hell - or, maybe worse, perceiving it as if is). If I have a problem, it is having too much. And ten, I see how much light there is, everywhere. Here in Pulsewire I found so many of you...

I'd like to share. Whatever happened, even if what I'm now seems to me the consequence of a chain of (mostly happy) events, that is a "random path", I feel having something useful I may transmit. Alone, I can't however (and this is the nice part).

I see one of the biggest problems women face is lack of access to instruction. Sometimes, just "simple" things, like being able to read and write - and in this case I can do very little. But in some other cases, access to valuable information. OK, what I've to offer is not that much, but just it may be a way to redistribute wealth in a more sensible, sensitive and humane way. Poverty begins, I see, with being deprived support, and information.

I'll check with Jade, I feel she may help me. And you.

I know, this might mean turning upon a 2000 years old habit as a glove. But who knows, maybe this isn't so difficult!

Love

Mauri

Dear Mauri,

As I have said sometime before, our Pulsewire is our Temple of Freedom, where we come and share freely. I appreciate your voice so much. I can see you have so much to offer to this community. Please continue doing it.

If I can be of any help, If we can work together in some issue, let's do it girl.

By the way, thank you for the Micro Meteorology PDFs. They are great. I was revising them yesterday. I just wish I knew some more Italian, but I shall learn some to read this better. It will be so helpful in my book (this is breaking news, I am translating my book to English so that it can be published). And will add some of the ideas in your PDFs, mentioning you of course.

Love,

Jackie

Jacqueline Patiño FundActiva Tarija - Bolivia South America www.jap21.wordpress.com

Jackie, your appreciation warms heart.

If I may help you with Italian, you're welcome. It is me who should apologize - I've never translated them.

And, I think the world is full of opportunities we may work on together (distance is not so dramatic, in a sense). I hope having mentioned already to you, but I'm trying to imagine something useful on the education side. I'm still distilling the idea, but I'll keep you informed.

The idea of doing something together thrills me.

Mauri

Dear Mauri, I am very impressed with your thought because we are human beings. We do mistake but we need to learn from our mistake.

I like the way, you accept your mistake and learn from it. Sharing your experience will help most of us to think atleast once to find the props and cons of rejecting opportunities.

At least, I will be aware of it. Thank you dear

With Love and RegardsSunita Basnet

Sure, isn't it?

We do a lot of mistakes. Then you turn back, and consider: "How was I so stupid! Was all this possible?"

Of course it is!

To me, it happens almost daily. I'm beginning to ask myself whether I'm really learning from them... ;-)

On the other side, sometimes I wonder what would it happen, would we take always the perfect decisions... Maybe a nice world but, what a deadly boredom!

I feel our imperfection is a gift of God and Gods/Goddesses.

I think I'll share some other, hoping they may be useful to others. (I've a long reservoir! ;-) )

Cheers and, again, so great happiness! It's more than just lovely seeing people grow and blossom, but sure you're a record case!

Mauri