Two Standards are too Much

Mauri Favaron
Posted December 7, 2009 from Italy

Let's get rid of "standards".

We all know of the double, even triple standard arbitrarily applied to some group of people, just in name of some stereotyped image.

Anytime we do accept a standard, or enforce our own, we state a blasphemy: that people can, and should, be sorted into classes. And then, named, predicted, oppressed.

In my life I've seen many times double standards applied. And rationally I have to admit: they are a form of violence. Just one of the many. But an important one. Let me say, essential - dividing, and then conquering and oppressing, is the old hallmark of patriarchy: it thrives in divisions and oppositions.

My first invite (to myself, to begin with) is being aware of double standards. Often they are subtle, and even sincerely made "in our best interest" in good will. So subtle, they entwine and shape our minds. Even phrases like "Oh, dear, it would be fine for you to lift your teacup with two hands - doing differently wouldn't suit you!" And most often, they are explicit, and decisive. "You can't do/own/act/express concerns/be paid fairly".

We should go on, however. None of these standards is rationally justifiable, nor acceptable.

My dream is, in this respect, a World where each human is individually known and celebrated, in her/his uniqueness.

Where gender, in its all shades is just one character as anyone else, without overemphasis.

This is not, in my opinion, impossible.

Let's then imagine. May we, then, begin building a little bit of it? Together all over, we can!


16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence 2009

Comments 2

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  • Jacqueline Patiño
    Dec 09, 2009
    Dec 09, 2009

    You are so right! Let us not fight "against" anything, but instead let us be " in favor of" not tagging anyone.

    A long time ago, when I was submerged in mundane suffering, people wanted to put a tag on my face and I, for reasons I didn't understand by then, didn't realize it was happening.

    Only after all the suffering passed I was able to understand that I had been tagged. It didn't feel right then, and it doesn't feel right nowadays either.

    But I always knew I was myself and not the tag they were clinging on me. I think that is what made the difference. No one should tag you, alright, but the most important part is: YOU SHOULD NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO ACT BY A TAG.

    Only when you are sure the tags do not affect you, because you will not let your circumstances define you, you are really free to go on and soar high in the altitudes you dream for yourself.

    Much love,


  • Mauri Favaron
    Dec 09, 2009
    Dec 09, 2009

    Jackie, I agree fully.

    No one should place tags on people. Many do, however.

    The act of tagging, of establishing a division, of expressing a value judgment from a preconceptual standpoint, are all mean and quick ways to affirm a power. But which power? Just the power to ban, kill, cause sufferings, constrict?

    I wonder what may be found of so exciting in that. I feel the most important power is simpler, and more complex (it demands no less than giving an entire soul, just to begin): "giving life". Literally, and also in figurate sense. Giving birth might be an incredibly strong unifying principle, common to any living form (and in particular, women and men).

    Sure some sadists might not appreciate. Yet I see they are a minority.

    I also wonder whether someone exist having not being tagged, physically or in the soul, at least once. So injust, and devastating. Maybe it's an inevitable step in human growth. "Inevitable"... What a stupid species we seem to be, always imagining suffering is necessary!

    We need a shift, really. A major one.

    But, you said, we can ;-) We "just" have to let our dreams flow, and follow them. It is said that some prophecies tend to self-realize, and this is almost always applied to bad news. But why not to apply it to the good ones?

    Love, and a big hug.

    (For us: let them tag, if they like. But we'll go ahead, forward. They will not stop us).