I sat with my legs folded on her bed. Christian Talk Radio was on. Christian talk radio is always on, faintly in the background. I can filter the noise most of the time. Sometimes I hear a whole sentence on accident. It's not that I don't value what's being said, I just don't value the word unnatural being used as a synonym for homosexuality.

I'm brought back to three months ago, sitting on her porch, finally the conversation we'd been getting at, "I don't think we should ever cross that line together." A blow, or relief, I've never decided.

I didn't respond, I just listened. "It's just that I feel god created men and women to be together and I need strong arms around me...but it's not that I don't think of you like that...sometimes..." Enough to have to pray for peace over. Enough to close the conversation if it veers into the hands of possibility. I told her I understood, we carried on for another three months. She would sometimes say things like, "This is where we went on our first date," only to stop herself at the end of her own sentence with a smile that didn't mean much except it's easy to hide things. I never respond to those comments.

The only problem I have with it is when people don't understand their homophobia is rooted in their own indoctrination. She doesn't have to climb into my garden palace, but she should understand the reasons he won't was something taught to her.

I heard talk radio. Basically, he said, god created men and women to be adjoined. Men and men or women with women were unnatural by the law that god did not create them to please each other, but the opposite...so, where does the concept of pleasure fit into everything? Not every orgasm has the intention or hope for procreation...more on this later...as it is ongoing, as is the struggle for equality and understanding...

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Thanks for sharing your story. It is funny that conforming to society can be the exact opposite of conforming to what you want, need, and should have. Politics, religion, or other outside influences shouldn't want us or expect us to deny ourselves. -Carri

I agree. The benefit of the fact that outside influences DO want us to conform is that it allows us the opportunity to reveal the intentions of those societal devices - how they unite and segregate us. Segregation, to me, implies the intention of a master/slave or superior/inferior society. When we look at groups of people who are oppressed across the globe, following the trail of oppression we will almost always be led down a money trail that leads to the harsh reality that due to greed there are people, many people, who will indulge in the endless suffering of others just because it perpetuates more funding. It's sad..

I recommend the film: Fish Out of Water. It's amazing and reveals the seven bible verses used to condemn homosexuality, but looks at them from a theological standpoint as well interviews people who academically study scripture, instead of opening the Bible daily and interpreting the word of God in our modern context. Academic scripture is the act of studying the Bible in the context it was written.

"...our compassion is the practice of unconditioning." Jakusho Kwong Roshi