The long ride on Sajha bus with the random riding thoughts

“Your success in failure attracts me more than by your failure in success”. I did not read this sentence somewhere to write here. It came suddenly through my inner thoughts. I knew something was not right with me that day. I was so lost. I did not know where I was heading to.  I took a Sajha bus from Jawalakhel. These days, taking long ride on Sajha bus after office has been my best time. I love seeing people outside of window. I see people in hurry, especially people in Motorbikes. I hate the way they overtake side vehicles risking their own lives. Whatever, let’s move to my thoughts. I remembered all the faces of celebrities, writers, relatives, and friends I know who have been successful and quite popular. I think success is shaped through different incidents or circumstances keeping aim and ambitions aside. Your mother died because your family did not have money for her treatment. Your feeling that day might be overwhelmed by stress and being unable to save your loving mother, you decided to be a doctor. You are so kind. You cannot express your feelings to people. You cannot speak up for injustice behavior or your words are not heard. You want to prove your visibility or to utter your unheard words, you decided to be a writer. You cannot see your father torturing your mother. Her tears can’t hold your tears rolling down through cheeks. That night you were so helpless and you decided to be an activist to fight violence against women. You saw some favorite stuffs your mother like. You want to gift her on Mother’s day and you did. You pretended that you did not witness her sadness remembering all the tiny basic needs the money of your gift could fulfil. You could not stand out her fake smile that day and you determined to be a filthy rich. The circumstances you had gone through that day might have shaped you to be the person you are today. My question is “were you willing to go through those circumstances?” In the interview, Manisha Koirala said, “If I didn’t go through cancer that day, I would not have understood the importance of life.” When you were living in that circumstance, how many times did you pray to pass it soon or to make your life easy? I think, infinite times, right? The circumstance you wanted to get over that day, has now become your inspiration. But, what if that struggles never pass away? And what is it for people who have succeeded without going through those heart wrenching circumstances? How do they get inspiration? I do not know, but maybe getting success easily means you have not learned much.  You do not know the struggles. You have not gone through that pain. I am not saying that you need to go through those emotional breakdowns to get your success. However, some people tend to fail in their success. Meaning, they take it for granted because they achieved success easily. Maybe, I could say, resources and comfort did not fall into their scarce category where they did not wander around to fulfill its insufficiency. And maybe, those who did not take their easy success for granted could be the true blessings of Almighty. Maybe, they were already enlightened before stepping into this Earth.

When you are on the peak of success despite of your vigorous scuffle you went through to reach there, you tend to forget about people who are falling down every day to climb up. That is what your failure in success is. You are invited almost in all prominent events as a guest speaker to utter your journey to success. Be grateful that you achieved it. What if you could not? There are people who died without achieving their targeted achievements. There are people who are at the end of their last breathe preparing their way to heaven without experiencing success in life. There are people who are in the mid of their life dreaming to climb up the ladder of success one day. There are people who are lunatic in others eye because they gave up to fight. If you cannot reach to the threshold set by this constructive society, then you are the discouragement to people. Your existence is a burden for your own creators. You won’t be invited in any events just to share your everyday fights unless you mold your struggles to success. Beside all these pain, are you still surviving? Are you still spreading your smile piercing it through the heaps of your wounds? If you are, then that is what your success in failure is. You are the true high flyer amongst all those ones winning constructive trophies. Your story attracts me more than the stories of achievers. Tell me, how many pillows are soaked with tears in the cold, cold nights? How do you feel to stand up on the edge of burning flames to burn your departed hope? How do you make wish to wake up tomorrow morning to knit your new hope? How eagerly do you pray to gain little more strength to survive another new day? Invite me in your tale to hear your survival stories without success.

 

"Sajha bus is a public transportation bus system in Nepal serving the capital city of Kathmandu as well as its surrounding valley.

Manisha Koirala is a Nepali actress who predominantly works in Indian films".