Underestimating WOMEN, Misusing Women, Until when????

I was in some country on a business trip. One of the businessman I meet in abroad, introduced me like this:

He is very sharp business man

He is a moving factory

He is a person who knows what he wants

He is independent

He is not afraid to sleep alone

He doesn’t want a wife

He wants many children

He is a father of two boys

He doesn’t want to see one of his child’s mother

He hired a house help and raised the kids together with one of the child’s mother…

It was my turn to introduce myself. Our agenda was about exporting leather.

I make leather products

I design women outfit

I am published Author and poet, that’s me.

After my arrival in that city, he called me and told me he wants to see me. It was Sunday morning, we meet at some balcony. He was very much interested about my book; “My Online Dates”.

“Is there a book about Mr. I?” he asked.

He was afraid, I wrote about him. I published the book on year 2012, wrote it before. I didn’t see what makes him worried. He contacted me two weeks ago, why is he worrying on Sep, 30th’2017? In fact he’s not the only person, who was afraid of …being exposed on my book. One Norwegian dentist, blocked me from his Skype when my book was released.

On that Sunday, the most topic was not leather. He was giving his stories. About his online date from….country. He was in love with her. He rode from ….to…his capital and flew to her capital every weekend. He sees himself as foolish for being in love with her years ago.

I asked him why he left the mother of his children.

“Women in our country want to take your money every day. The only reason for women to stick with a man is, to enjoy his money.”

said my new client.

“Do you love your children?” I asked.

“Yes, I do. I live for my sons. I invest and save for them. the women are not important. The second child was not my plan, she got pregnant and call me, and said; “This is your son.” I take my son, that’s what I want, not the mother.”

My anger was boiling inside me. He is seeing my sister like an incubator. But I didn’t show my anger, because I wanted to learn more about men from his area.

The girl, who gave my contacts to this guy is one beautiful girl.

“Ok, who is this girl? I knock her door looking for my old friend. she moved into the house and invited me in. she asked me what I do in my home town. How did you two know each other?”

“Oh, she is young and beautiful girl. we meet ten years ago. We went to some class together. She worked for me. we were almost dating. She was very close to me, but I see that if I …she will stand between wealth and me. I had to leave her.”

“Waw! You lost her. She is bright, positive, full of power and energy, trustworthy…etc. Last April, the first time I saw her, I forgot my leather jacket while I kick football with her two years old tiny boy. Inside the pocket, I’d all the $$$ I carried, all my cards for the bank and more. I thought I forgot it in the taxi. I remember it was on my arm at her gate. I went to her place next morning to ask for it in case I left it there. She gave me, everything was there. You see, in this city to find a reliable friend is…just a miracle. You had to marry her.”

“No, I don’t marry someone’s wife. I don’t marry woman with kids. I don’t like single mothers.”

The guy has forgotten he is a single father. I was telling him, if he married her ten years ago, he could be lucky.

“I want a woman, who has no child, who is independent. Do you think I’ll find that girl?”

“If you think you will, yes.”

Next morning, when I checked my fb, I saw the girl post something. It was a picture….under the picture she wrote; “Mr…will marry me.”

I saw the girl was not happy with the young man she married. In fact, they don’t marry, they only stay together and he’s cheating on her. When she escorted me and asked me; “Tell me what to do, give me contacts to go …etc.” I saw she is agitating to fly, fly away from the life she has and look for a better life for her and for her children. She had a two months old baby girl. She is full of confidence. If she wants to marry my new client, I know she will.

The third day I saw him in his office. We went to have a meeting at some leather dealer, I bought fish skin leather. He mentioned one former president of some country.

“He is my favorite president, he never got married.” he said.

“But he had uncountable mistresses. He has many children.” I said.

“Yes, that is good.”

“I don’t like guys like him.”

My new client smiled. We ate lunch. The city was quite. The guy went to smoke, I sat in some park. This man can’t sleep without sleeping peels. He was once a street child. That’s when he started to smoke. I had to ask him his upbringing when he spoke many things bad about women.

“I lost my father when I was very little boy. My mom was married by a rich man. She was the eighth wife for the man. He never liked me. I also hate him. He refused to pay my school fee. My mother was very happy the way she lives as the eighth wife, and that really annoyed me. I was never attached to my mom. She gave birth for more children. When I didn’t see someone to pay school fee for me I run away from home. I joined the street children. I travelled to many countries in Africa. I prefer this city and started to make business. My step father is my official enemy. He has private helicopters for local flights. He is famous business man. I determined to be rich guy and give the responsibility to my sons and retire early. My sons are my everything.”

He tried every small business until he became leather product producer.

He contacted me before three days after I came home. I was online and he greeted me.

“Hi, how is your city? There was a little chaos on…side when I was there.” I typed.

“I’m in the coast.” He replied.

“Your kids?”

“They are with me, until day of election. The bond between me and my boys is like a magnet.”

“How about your friendship with their mothers? Kids want their parents to be together, than any other thing. That’s their priority.”

“You don’t have to say that. Don’t say my kids, my kids, my kids. Those women carry your kids for nine month, they breast feed, they struggle to give birth, they had to eat good food to give healthy child. You have no respect for them at least, even if you don’t love them?”

“That’s their job, to be pregnant and give birth. I am a man who knows what he wants. He he he he.”

“You are using them? this is so foolish.”

\" They brest feed, and nurture your babies...unpaid work. You've no gratitude?\"

“Why are you making it personal? I was not paid to make them pregnant. But, it's nature and God want them to do it. It's none of my business.”

“When it comes to WOMEN, it’s very personal to me.”

“They want my money, I want a child.”

“Don’t tell me money, money, money. You told me you love money, and I saw it. But, these young girls were with you to share their lives with you. Not to give birth for your child and to be dumped by you.”

“Don’t make it personal. I don’t want to marry a woman from my country, I need Ethiopian wife as I told you many times.”

“No wife for you from my place. All Ethiopian, men or women, young boys or girls adore their mothers. You have no love and respect to the women who gave you the sons you want to die for them. don’t ever say that around Ethiopians. We almost worship our mothers. We have numerous music for mothers that sung by many singers. We thank them for all the jobs they did to us. As for me, when any media invites me and ask me about who I’m and how I become the person who I am now, I narrates only about my Mom. I can’t stand it when you belittle a woman.”

“I can live without marrying.”

“You said; ‘You are a man who knows what he wants.’ ‘You want an Ethiopian wife.’ ‘You are not afraid of sleeping alone.’ ‘You can live without a wife.’ And you admire that president who lives without wife but with mistresses. You are a man, who doesn’t know what you want. You are a man who doesn’t know what he’s saying. You are a guy who has no dream. May be if you’ve one…You want to be a rich man and have many children. This kind of drama is normal in your birth place, not acceptable in my country. Go and search for your own dream lady wherever you want, don’t try to bring it to my land.”

“You are making it very personal.”

“Yes! When you spoke badly about your mother, your x-gals, it was paining me. Whatever you are saying or doing to every other woman, it hurts me. She is my sister, I stand for her. The other girlfriend, she used to call you throughout the day…you put your mobile phone at your flat so that she can hear it ringing in the house. You were relieved when your mom died. My God! No man can say this. When Mom died, all her children want to die with her. She is the center of the house, their lives and their families. No!!!”

I was typing like crazy to blast the guy who hates women and his mother. The guy signed out in the middle of conversation.

“Anyway, we are here to deal with leather. I supply you leather material and you’ll pay me. Never ever mention your mean words around me. And if you come across with an Ethiopian, don’t say anything like that about women or mothers. They will hate you. Let our agendas be, business and business only.” I stopped typing.

After three days, he posts on his FB;

“being emotional is not good for business.”

Women are strong creatures. They serve the community since they are very young until they give their final breath. The family doesn’t notice that. The community never acknowledges it. The men who is harassing and abusing women have been brought to this world and brought up by women’s strong support. They don’t realize it she could miscarry them and kill them before they were born. Why are they are so mean to women?

Like my new client, life was hard for him. He had a bad childhood. I also mention that on our chat. I understand that. But he hates women who remarry after they got children. He encourages men to marry as many as they want. He really stirred my anger. I told him he is also a single father while he’s cursing single mothers. He calls them; “Sympathetic women.” And he can’t help them by any means. It is their own fault to be a single mother. He made two women sympathetic. Who is going to marry them? He wronged them.

“You wronged them, you have to marry one of them.” I faced him while I was there. “At least, one the kid will live with his parents.” Life can deal us the hardest blow, but we don’t have to be hard on ourselves. We have to have heart. We should show sympathy to others.

I don’t know, if I were too mean for this guy. But, he is a fruit of his upbringings.

Mothers, girls, parents, aunties; “Please, let us raise our sons, nephews, brothers…etc. the way they can be good brothers, good boyfriends, great fathers and adorable husbands.”

The kea is in our hands.

I really pity this young man. If he’s willing to hear, I’ll try to advice him to be a better man as a long distance sister.

What do you say to him, if you were I?