Forever

I hope one-day things will be better for me. I just wish one-day things will be better. I cared for myself enough to change my life, but I didn’t have the slightest clue where to start. I spent my days and nights just thinking that I can change something or what I can change or wish that things would change one day that I could escape a life that my soul could no longer bear.
The worst part of all, I was living the life that society had always told me to live – funny right .Good Job, work hard, earn money, need to help your family , mean friends.
I don’t know about others but you know right things do suck the joy out of life. I really wasted my time doing things that I really don’t like.
If my life had absolutely no limits now and I could have it all and do whatever I wanted, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do; now things will go the way I want them to go. All I need this time is a peace that it. I’m not even looking for happiness – just need peace of my soul.
People say if you forgive then you will have peace in your life, somewhat I’m unable to forgive someone. I really don’t know how people can forgive someone so easy is that so easy? Then why I’m unable to forgive.
I may look to my past and tell myself: “if only had done this or that then things would have been different and better now”. That may be true but you cannot really change the past unless I got a time-machine. And reliving the past in my mind does not change today and this week and month. It just has hooked me on mental reruns that keep me in my regret life.
Hope one-day things will be better – till then thank you God for your help – you’re the reason I made it so far 