I did not allow her to kill my dream.

Sophie Ngassa
Posted March 6, 2018 from Cameroon
Mentors
Training of trainers

“They are not going to come for the event “a young female mentor told me during our first meeting.

This was 4 years ago when I was greatly in need and searching for female mentors in the STEM fields. I was surprised when she told me that “Can’t you see that these ladies are not serious!”

I was amazed to the point that I could not utter a word. It was my first year of running a coding program for girls. This was going to be one of most challenging experiences I ever had in my work.

How did all these comments come about?

At that moment, I was planning a Tech event in which I had to train 30 girls on coding skills; an activity I was not yet good at. Being a beginner, I had to find some ladies to assist me with the training. It was also an opportunity for me to improve on my skills during the training.

I decided to visit the university in our town, where I could meet and invite some computer science students. Luckily enough, I met 4 female students who were very interested in the project. I then planned a meeting for us to talk more. On the day of the planned meeting 3 of the female students were present and 1 was absent. Our discussion went on well and they all accepted to participate as trainers at the upcoming event. They equally accepted to convey the proceedings of the meeting to the absent lady. I happily hugged them and we separated.

Two days before the event, with all excitement, I decided to make a call to remind the 4 the ladies about the event. Meanwhile, the lady who was absent during our meeting requested to meet me for more information.

I rushed to meet her for a talk. To my greatest surprise, she told me that the other 3 ladies were going to disappoint me and that they are friends and she knows them best. She asked me not to count on their support because they were funny ladies.

I was perplexed and looked at her straight into her eyes and pretended as if I had not heard her well. And I asked her to repeat what she just said. Off course she repeated with same words.

I simply thanked her for informing me about the other girls. I was however excited to experience her training session.

What happened next?

On the day of the workshop, to my greatest surprise, the 3 other ladies were present and this lady was absent. I was now more confused as her words kept on echoing in my head, and causing me to lose concentration. I began asking myself many questions that obviously had no answers at that time.

However, the training was a huge success and till date I remain thankful to these 3 ladies. I never bothered to get back to the other lady to know what had happened because I was very crossed by her behavior. I just could not understand why she will decide to black mail her peers.

Then came another event! This time I invited that same lady who was absent during the last event. She accepted again and I was still very happy. One day to the event she sent me a text message informing me that she will be absent.

“Again” I exclaimed. I was very worried and I sent a reply asking her what had suddenly happened? She did not reply me. I sent another message telling her that her presence was highly needed and that I could not replace her at the moment. I actually decided to mount some pressure on her so that she could speak out. She quickly apologized and told me that she will be there. On the day of the event she was finally there and she did a great job.

I had made up my mind never to invite her again for any activity and we stopped eventually stopped communicating.

Getting up one morning as I was checking my messages, I found this message from her “Dear Ma’am, big congrats for the work you are doing ….. Please I will like to assist you in any way possible.” She was requesting to serve as a mentor for our girls.

It was really amazing that this same lady now wanted to help as a volunteer. Searching for young women to volunteer as mentors for our girls was a real night mare. But I never got discouraged and I stuck unto my mission. I built a strong bond with my vision that is now unshakable.

However, I can’t reject any one because of the love of humanity and the passion for what I do. I replied her message expressing my joy to work with her because I know that together we will achieve more as silence breakers.

 

 

 

This post was submitted in response to You Are a Silence Breaker..

Comments 37

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  • Wendy Stebbins
    Mar 06
    Mar 06

    WOW! There's a lot in this. You are such an inspiration. Such a role model and mentor yourself. Took me a long time to realize that sometimes when people neglect or don't act they way a healthy person does, it is not about me. Sometimes, they are going through some real tough things as well as when to hang onto and when to let go of a person. I also learned that sometimes they are our greatest lessons. I had to laugh at your authenticity and willingness to share that it was a "nightmare". Really helpful to have a person be as honest and open as you are. Good luck.

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 11
    Mar 11

    Dear Wendy, Thanks for reading my story and commenting.I looks like you have gone through a similar experience.Sometimes it is difficult to figure out what some people want to do.

  • Wendy Stebbins
    Mar 09
    Mar 09

    Yes, you are right about not always knowing what to do, who is good for us or who isn't, and on and on. I have learned that when I am in this confused state to say "God, I don't know what to do. Please send me a sign". He ALWAYS does. One way or another he says "yes" or "no". I just have to have my ears and eyes open. Haha.

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 11
    Mar 11

    Wow! I love this experience. God's time is the Best!

  • Dawn Arteaga
    Mar 06
    Mar 06

    Good for you for first not letting her discourage you and second embracing her when she came back to you. You are a true leader!

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 06
    Mar 06

    Dear Dawn, Thanks for your great comment. It was not easy for me. I made up my mind to overcome the challenges during that critical period when I most needed help. But today I thank God that the story is different. It has made me to become a Silence Breaker.

  • MagiOriah
    Mar 06
    Mar 06

    I so appreciate your perseverance and commitment to your mission. A true story of not giving up on you or her.

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 06
    Mar 06

    Dear Magioriah, Welcome to this wonderful platform. I am really very passionate about my work to increase the number of girls in STEM. My journey has been challenging at same time exciting. With limited resources, I try to be always happy and move on ! Thanks for your kind words.

  • Lily Habesha
    Mar 06
    Mar 06

    Hey Dear,
    You did such a great job.
    You won twice.

    Lily

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 07
    Mar 07

    Thanks dear.

  • Aramide Oikelome
    Mar 07
    Mar 07

    Welldone Sophie!

    Indeed Failure is an orphan & success has many friends. Your success makes you irresistible!

    Keep Soaring!
    Aramide

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 07
    Mar 07

    My dear sis Aramide, in fact path to sucess is very rough, but we have to stand the challenge. Thanks for your encouragment.

  • Tumanjong Miranda
    Mar 07
    Mar 07

    Hi Aunt Sophie, thanks for sharing your experience... Honestly it has given me the courage to take my work to the next level. Thank you once more. I won't stop, no matter what!!!

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 08
    Mar 08

    Dear Miranda. I am happy that my story has inspired you.
    Yes! you got it right, Never Give Up. Thanks you.
    NB Please make you comment in the "Leave acomment box" so that I will be notified.

  • Clodine Mbuli Shei
    Mar 07
    Mar 07

    Dear Sophie,
    You are such a wonderful and courageous leader. This is the fruit of patience and using the right approach. I have learnt never to give up from this piece. Thank you again great activist.

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 07
    Mar 07

    Dear sis Clodine, Thanks for your sweet words. I am happy that you have learned form my experience that made me a stronger leader. Happy women's day.

  • Mar 07
    Mar 07

    This comment has been removed by the commenter or a moderator.
  • Ndimofor Aretas
    Mar 08
    Mar 08

    I am really inspired by this experience and it just adds to the burning passion in me for Women Empowerment in Technology!

    That's why each time I have any opportunity to support you, I don't hesitate!

    Keep the flame alive Ma Sophie!

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 08
    Mar 08

    Hello Aretas, Happy to see you on this platform, welcome! Thanks for all your support. I appreciate you.

  • Vivian Emesowum
    Mar 08
    Mar 08

    You are an inspiration to women and me. Keep doing your good work

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 08
    Mar 08

    Welcome to World Pulse dear Vivian.Thanks for you great comment.

  • Wendy Stebbins
    Mar 08
    Mar 08

    Yay, Sophie. You are amazing.

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 08
    Mar 08

    Happy to see you here Wendy. Thank you for joining the wave of change.

  • Sophie, you burn brightly for many, esp. those who stay in the shadows of ignorance. Awaken all with your brilliance!

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 08
    Mar 08

    Glad we are here Nathalie. Together we will make it happen.Thanks for your kind words.

  • How I love the way you mother the women in your community, Sophie. You remained trusting in spite your experiences with one girl. Amazing how she ended up volunteering! She must have seen a treasure in your advocacy.

    You inspire me. Thank you for sharing your story.

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 08
    Mar 08

    Hello Karen, Thanks for sweet words. I am happy that you have a deep understanding of what happened. Welcome to World Pulse and thanks again for commenting.

  • Evelyn Fonkem
    Mar 09
    Mar 09

    Wow Aunty Sophie thanks for sharing this write up.When planning an event,obstacles and challenges will always come.I am glad you were able to overcome them and your event was a success.Those challenges have made you the person you are today;strong,powerful and empowered keep up the good fight

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 11
    Mar 11

    My dear sis, you got me right. This situation really only made me stronger. Thanks for reading and commenting. Together we are stronger. Cheers!

  • Olutosin
    Mar 09
    Mar 09

    This is beautiful. I'm glad that you gave her another chance. It's called maturity.

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 11
    Mar 11

    My darling sis, You gave the right word.Thank you for all.

  • Chantal Asene
    Mar 16
    Mar 16

    You are always an inspiration each time I read from you

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Mar 16
    Mar 16

    Thank you sister.

  • Tarke Edith
    May 09
    May 09

    wow ma your story was amazing that shows how one has to be tolerant with every situation in life. you see that because you had the mine to move ahead, that why you are still working with her

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Jun 07
    Jun 07

    Thank you Ma Edith, You got it right! We keep on the struggle.

  • joyce nelly
    Jun 07
    Jun 07

    Dear Aunty Sophie, Thanks for sharing this great piece. i stand with you always.

  • Sophie Ngassa
    Jun 07
    Jun 07

    Dear Joyce, You are so nice. Thank you.