It is alien for a woman to openly disclose that she is being abused by her spouse, former husband or boyfriend, daily this is recorded in the hearts of million of women all over the world, non-stranger sexual assault is on the increase especially in developing world, cultural beliefs, religion and ignorance are some of the reasons for the increase.

A woman has a right to refuse sexual advances from the husband even the Bible supports this as it says couples can deny themselves of sexual pleasure for a time, this should also cover when the woman or man as the case may be is not in the mood or out of action. The right of a woman as an individual must not be waved because she is wearing a new name; MRS or new identity.

Sexual violence is gender targeted though not peculiar to women alone, a lecturer of mine once said that he intended that they have a child but his wife raped him three times in order to conceive the remaining three children. Though rare but women can actually rape their husbands, every coerced, threatened, or tricks’ sexual act is an assault.

Developing countries are yet to grab the reality of women empowerment and the shining lights to the rights of women, it is pertinent to point out that hardly will a woman inform anyone that the man she is married to sexually abused her because the image created is that the woman is married to procreate, some educated men are known to be wife-beater while the wives are seen day after in dark goggle with swollen red eyes. Sexuality is not an interesting topic because of religious attachment and women have been kept under the bondage of religion.

Scene of pregnant women, child strapped at back and load placed on head is not strange, but pertinent to note that the carrier will be wearied while the cloth folded on the head feels no pain. Second degree slavery for women can be stopped by women, religious bigotry; cultural inhibitions can only be halt by women. If Adam was perfect without Eve, God will make no provision for Eve, he would have been content being the father of animals at least he christened them, but creation of Eve brought the mirror of Adam, prior to the creation of Eve, he could only view his reflections in the flowing river. Together they brought his replica.

Young women are faced daily with sexual assault perpetrated by friends, colleagues, teachers/lecturers; boss etc. Severally, attitude of some women towards sexual assault is condescending as the smile that follows harassment sometime is questionable/embarrasing but on the contrary there are women who have stood on their ground when such issues arise. Sexual harassment in the tertiary institution is a frequent occurrence and till date there has been only one solution to it and that is loss of admission of further molestaion. Providence has a way of judging these as we witness those who sow breeze reap whirlwind. These and more issues need to be addressed as they call for further discussion from my friends here.

Thanks for reading

Comment on this Post


thanks for posting this entry. as a person who has experienced sexual assault myself, I think it is so important to keep people informed about these issues. thanks for sharing and let's keep the dialogue alive. -a

anna lag

We can keep the dialogue alive and this will also keep our hopes alive too.

I always say, we all are survivors!

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale Founder/Project Coordinator Star of Hope Transformation Centre 512 Road F Close Festac Town Lagos-Nigeria https:


Yes! Yes! Yes!

It is amazing how in developing countries issues of sexual assault are so taboo! I am currently living in Jamaica and they do not even have shelters here for women who are being abused by their significant other. They also are lacking in sexual assault resources.

The general view of women and sex here is that they want it, even if they don't think so, so the men have the right to "give it to them" this is especially true in marriages.

Also because of the religious views here (there is a church about every 200 metres) women are not treated equally because they were created "after adam" and because the bible says they must be subservient.

Although I respect religion in some ways, this is a way that religion and I do not get along (when it is used to oppress)- however how do you tell someone who is devout and does not question their beliefs that their beleifs are actually oppressing them?

Thank you very much for this post! I love the conversation you have started.

I will be checking back on your journal to read more of your thoughts- also feel free to look at mine :)

Again thank you and much much peace!


Will always read your journal too, we can always work together to change our lives, we are the change the World awaits.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale Founder/Project Coordinator Star of Hope Transformation Centre 512 Road F Close Festac Town Lagos-Nigeria https:

hi. i have lived in silence and consequently in denial for the last 13 years and i hope this dialogue will help me over come everything. i ntend to share the whole story in my journal pages so you are all invited

"Look out for happiness and you will be happy or else you will make someone happy"

My Darling,

This is your time and I will so much appreciate if I can know you better. SILENCE IS DEADLY IN SEXUAL VIOLENCE, IT HELPS THE ABUSER TO THRIVE! When we are silent we are ignorantly consenting to the act or sexual violence. I LOVE YOU MY DARLING AND WAITING EAGERLY TO READ YOUR JOURNAL.

Olutosin Oladosu Adebowale Founder/Project Coordinator Star of Hope Transformation Centre 512 Road F Close Festac Town Lagos-Nigeria https: