Imagining a World Where Every Woman, Man and Child Feels Safe in Their Home and Community

President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton and all governments everywhere, the time has come to pass The International Violence Against Women Act (H.R. 4594, S. 2982).

As 2010 winds down, it seems inconceivable to me that with all the advances that have occurred in the last century to connect us as a global community, that we still live in a world where women are not safe in their homes and in their communities. Furthermore, it saddens me that when a woman stands up against the violence, there are not sufficient safe resources and legal protections to support her through that painful process.

For the past 30 years, as a counselor and an educator, I have worked with hundreds or perhaps thousands of women in Chicago and Portland, Oregon who have experienced physical, sexual, and emotional abuse by their husbands, boyfriends, and the fathers of their children. Early on in my career, one woman, who had recently left her abusive husband, was stabbed to death by him when he came to her home to visit their children. I often think of those children with their mother dead and their dad in jail and wonder who raised them and if the cycle of violence has continued for them. There's the young woman who wanted to go to work but her husband controlled the money and refused to provide her with sanitary napkins when she was on her menstrual period. There are the young women who turned to alcohol and drugs in their teens to numb the pain of repeated sexual abuse on the part of their fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, and boyfriends. I think of the women who told me they called the police when domestic violence occurred and the police laughed at them or arrested them because they believed her husband and not her or they just told him to take a walk around the block. I think about the bumper sticker I saw in Chicago that said, "Sleep safe tonight. Sleep with a cop." I remember many times when a woman finally decided she had enough and she was going to go to a domestic violence shelter with her children and she called day after day and there were no openings. Or, she had male children over the age of 10 or 12 who were not welcome at the shelter.

My best friend and her daughter both escaped domestic violence. I remember the look of terror on her 5 year old grandson's face when he told us that we needed to help his Mom get away from her abusive boyfriend. At age 18, he still has nightmares about that man.

Another friend was a U.N. Peacekeeper in Bosnia. When I asked her what she would like me to send her, she asked for toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, and shampoo for "comfort kits" to be given to women who had survived rape and violence as a result of the war there. She emphasized how these comfort kits helped the women to begin their healing process by feeling less "dirty".

I believe with all my heart and soul that every woman, man, and child has the right to feel and be safe in their own homes, families, and communities and that as individuals, communities, and nations we need to take a stand to do our part to eliminate violence.

Susan Jacoby
Portland, Oregon
November 26, 2010

Please join the PulseWire community in speaking out against violence and urging the U.S. government to pass the International Violence Against Women Act (I-VAWA). Write your letter in your PulseWire journal to share your personal and observed experience in gender-based violence, both in your life and within your community. Tag your journal "IVAWA", and World Pulse will send your letter directly to President Obama, along with letters from women around the world. Learn more: http://www.worldpulse.com/pulsewire/programs/international-violence-agai...