YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS TO ME

This is the 21st century and 2017. Nepal has advanced in the field of women education and women empowerment. There are more than dozens of government bodies, local bodies, NGOs and INGOs working in the sector of women rights and its advocacy. Three women are at the dignified position of the country; the highest level of a democratic republic of Nepal; head of the state, speaker of the constituent assembly and the chief justice herself. But yet the scenario of women rights and empowerment is dimmed in the grass root levels, in the country level and in the rural communities.

Today, here I present a real life story of a so- called medium lower class underprivileged woman who was deprived of her rights, her right to love and speak against violence.

I had a very cheerful neighbor Tara (name changed) though I knew her for a short time. She came to stay at our house on rent. I had an obvious interest on her because she seemed to be of my age and was very beautiful. She lived with her boyfriend whom she told to be her husband. They both were in their early 20s maybe 22 or 23, but not more than that.

From the stories I later heard, they had love affair for 3 years, when their families were retailers in a local vegetable market. As her family had as light hint of their affair, her family migrated to their village. Despite this, they continued their relationship and kept in touch of each other. Soon she got a part time job in the city and started to live separately. Then this lovely couple started to live together. The time they came to our house to stay, they introduced themselves as spouses and lived happily.

Meanwhile Tara got pregnant. Their relation was not disclosed to the families and they were not married, so tension began to build up. Being an unmarried mother is not considered ethical in our societies. So Tara began to urge him to get married. But he would not listen. He would say that it was not the right time; he had to do much progress before marrying. Tara constantly pressurized him to take his responsibility and marry her. Instead, he would disappear for days to avoid her questions. Slowly Tara began realizing that he was not committed to her, that her love and dedication towards him went in vain.

So, this time, she took a bold step. She decided to abort the baby who was grown out of their love. Who would ever want her tiny pieces of flesh and blood sprouting inside her to get pulled out? But Tara did it for the sake of society, to prevent herself from being tagged as culprit, an unmarried mother. With the help of some friends she aborted the baby. During the whole time, her boyfriend was not available; he kind of left her alone to avoid taking responsibility.

Later, her family came to know about her living with a boy in a rented room. Her father fled to the city hearing the rumors about his daughter. He was dishonored and disheartened. He was mad with rage at his daughter instead of empathizing his daughter. She hadn't fully recovered physically and emotionally from her loss that he decided to marry off his daughter to a widower.

This is a story common to many women and young girls in the country. Had Tara had the courage to speak against that man who dejected her unconditional love and devotion, she would have lived the rest of her life with satisfaction. But now she has to offer herself with that widower whom she doesn't know at all and will always be treated a second person. She couldn't punish that cheater. Even her own family didn’t understand her feelings and left her to resent her whole life. I wonder how she was able to live with her new husband immediately after that psychological trauma. So I think it's not the time to say women of Nepal are fully empowered. Tara is just the representative case. There are miles to go for the actual phase.