I have recently been accused of terrible things, simply because I am a single mother. My initial reactions were rage and then sadness and then I delved into the pit of self-pity and despair. Some people think that I chose my condition, so that I could prowl for men, as though they are my unsuspecting prey. If only they knew how difficult it was to leave my life of false-comfort as a married woman, in exchange for struggle and strife.For some women, the cost of freedom is a high price to pay. But, it is worth the journey if there is no other way!
I chose to transform the despair into poetry:
For the Khans
When I first heard of the story that like wildfire, spread, I was in a state of dread How could they think that of little ol’ me? I just wish to spend my days in magnificent reverie A victim’s cry inside, I suddenly heard yell
What is this new sensation, pray, do tell? Deeper and deeper I did burrow The accusations and lies I couldn’t swallow Until one day, it became clear as light This is a universal fight!
Women everywhere, who do not fit the mould Are twisted and tormented, looked down upon, I’m told Never once did I stop and see, a slut, an adulterer, a Jezebel, in the mirror looking back at me
Am I a mirror to others who need to be set free? A mirror I shall be to all who need to see But with this sacrifice, I make a humble plea: Do not judge me. Love me. Do not hurt me. Protect me. Do not ignore me. Welcome me. For I carry with me great wonders I long to share
It surprises me that you do not seem to care For, in the end, the raw truth of this story Is that I know the secret to all our glory Seek in the other only the beauty you wish to plant within For she, who you try to snare, is simply your kin Connected by something more powerful than lust Willing to share God’s Love to all - this she must Don’t clip her wings while they’re growing For without your knowing You’re clipping your own too Such is the journey of sisters, all bound by Him, Allahu!
To this story, I have a wonderful ending and new beginning It has me singing I thank you, dear ones for causing me pain, allowing me to bow my head in false shame For now, through the lie, I am no longer tame Deep within me, the slander has set free A majestic goddess of fearless beauty No longer will she hide, because all can already see Her valour, strength, loyalty and integrity So, continue spreading fire of fabrication I am no longer open to this state of humiliation For, I know, you know and most importantly, so does He I am simply an Ant-Watcher, a traveller, enjoying her journey.