Dreams Turning...

Today, I had my fourth write up published in the newspaper where I work as a freelancer. Which newspaper you ask? It is Bangladesh's largest circulating English daily -The Daily Star.

I know I was a bit cliche'd just now but I couldn't help it. It's not everyday that someone gets to work in a country's one of the most largest newspapers. Especially when you are a girl, like me. I've said it regularly for the past couple of years and I will say it again: I want to be a journalist. I want to work alongside my idols, Anderson Cooper and Christiane Amanpour. I'm taking my fumbling baby steps towards that dream but at least it is something. Each day I read the newspapers, and I learn about new people who had their dreams shattered because of reasons outrageously horrendous to something shockingly trivial. Some of them having their fair share of mystery surrounding them.

Today after a very long time, when I showed my parents, family, friends and teachers of mine my published work I could see the pride that they took in me and my write up. That said that he loved it. Very much. It gave ME pride that I was able to make the people dearest to me appreciate the work that I'm doing. A lot of people don't get that easily.

Over the years as I was growing up I had people constantly comparing me with my elder sister, asking me when am i going to start 'becoming' more like her. I hated it then. Many still do. I still hate it now. Being compared between siblings and friends is the worst thing that can happen to a growing child. It is never good for a child's mental health. This comparison has managed to crumble me down in many ways. The other part is being bullied by my classmates. If constant comparison is bad, than this is dangerous. I am not going to elaborate on what I went through because it is still painful and it still stings and angers me when I think about it. Going through all this over the years as I was growing I guess instilled the immense desire to 'prove' to people that I am not a hopeless little kid who they can keep pushing and saying this at. I am very arrogant in that way. But on another point of view, going through all this has also put the desire in me to talk about a lot of issues and fight for them which other wise would have been kept under wraps. I have had people trying to shape into something that I'm not. They have tried to make me a shadow of themselves.

So, when I tell people that I want to work along side my idols Anderson Cooper and Christiane Amanpour, I'm not lying. Every single atom in my body screams for the opportunity. I get inspired by everything that these two people went through and how they overcame all that had been put in front of them to be where they are. I know that one day, inshallah, I will get there. I've survived this long, so I can survive longer. I'm sure I'm being arrogant right now but I wait for the day when I will have achieved my dream and when I do, I would look at everyone who ever questioned me and doubted me and look them in the eye to show them who I have made myself into. And if they ever ask again why I want to be journalist and why I wanna work with those two people, I will be ready with my answer.