6 years Ago

On the 13th of February 2014, I wrote my final exams as an undergraduate. I can’t begin to explain my feelings but I can say categorically that they were mixed. First, I was happy that 6 years ago, I didn’t even think I could EVER go back to school but here I was, walking out of the exam hall with my exam pass in my hand and pen unable to explain my feelings. Secondly, I have falling in love with the work I started with children in the slum 3 years ago and I wasn’t sure if I will get a fantastic job offer and abandon these children, but then I paused and thought to myself, “wait a minute, was it not you Raquel who stabbed classes for these children, how then do you ever think you would abandon them?’’. Like I said, I had mixed feelings.

I immediately wanted to start writing this particular piece but I just knew I couldn’t because of the whole hype and the noise from my course mates who were also excited to have finished their exams. I then postponed it, as usual.

If you read, “Introducing Myself And My Journal”, you will notice I said at the end, “I now have a reason to keep writing” but for this journal. This piece wouldn’t have seen the light of day. It was still be in my head like a pregnant woman carrying a child and not willing to deliver it.

You see, I don’t know if you know this feeling but finishing from the University is a major achievement in my life. A lot of people do not know how I struggled, I had serious esteem issues, but that is a story for another day. I am so glad I have finished my exams and I looking forward to my graduation in June. I hope to be there but just in case I am not, It would not be because I am sulking somewhere, it would be because I am somewhere trying to change the world and making a print on history pages.

I struggled with the fact that I got into University late, at 27, I just graduated, but I stopped struggling with pain and depression over this matter 3 years ago when I found purpose, (BEYOND THE CLASSROOM FOUNDATION). Working with the children over the years, providing School Supplies, Sanitary Pads, organising GirlTalk, celebrating Intl Day of the Girl and fighting against abuse and violence on young girls gave me hope that I am relevant in this generation regardless of what age I graduated at or what degree I graduated with.

I have taken time out to restructure my life, the NGO and my new business. I am so excited and I would want every one out there, orphaned, alone, abandoned, rejected, abused or even dying quietly with self esteem to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I am not rich, in fact, I am far from that, but I have joy, I have peace and I am successful. Success being the time when one can look carefully and see that ones actions, life and decisions taken inspired others and brought a positive change in their lives.

I now own a journal and even though I am not a fantastic writer, I will continue to write.
And to you who have taken time out to read this piece, maybe you are struggling with something no one knows; know this, you will surely come out of it.

I sign out with these words. “When you find Purpose, only YOU can STOP you.”

Sisterly,
Raquel