WiseUp ( Pevuka) episode 4

rehema lyoka
Posted April 20, 2018 from Tanzania
No matter the results , its not the end of the world

Welcome to WiseUp{PEVUKA}

One of my interest in life is to encourage students to stay in school , to love education and encourage self confidence , hence I will use this opportunity given by  World Pulse to help change the mind set of those students who read the articles published on this website . All articles posted on my account will have the name WiseUp ( PEVUKA) and under that topic we will discuss the different reasons why some students drop out from school and venture into other things. The Major Aim of the topics that will be posted in WiseUp (PEVUKA) , is to change the way of thinking of the young minds of today by letting them know that destiny is not a matter of chance but it’s a matter of choice and it’s not a thing to be waited for but rather a thing to be achieved, in other words kids these days needs to know that success does not come over night but rather it’s a journey that only the tough ones will achieve , therefore the topics that will be discussed in my account will target the following people : Parents , Teachers , The community and the students themselves , reason being is that students , teachers and parents both need to work hand in hand in order for the student to succeed in achieving their goal. 

 

Welcome TO WiseUp ( PEVUKA)  once again ,today topic is  :

                                                                             PREGNANCY !!!

Previously on WiseUp (pevuka), we went head to head and looked at how unplanned pregnancy can cause a shock in a student’s life, we looked at how most students react when they find out they are pregnant, we briefly looked at the choices the students may have to make, we also touched on how telling others about the news can be scary and agreed that  it is totally one owns choice to decide on who to tell, if to tell and when to tell. In today’s episode we will focus on the parent, will give advice's on how to tell your parents the news, will look at the moment the parents receive the news, the different reactions they might feel, and the choices they may tell their kids to make. And will advise parents on how to react and be there for their kids. 

 How to tell your parents Remember in WiseUp (pevuka) we are all about imagination and trying to be in each other’s shoes, so that we can understand the reason that drives students to drop out, hence we can try to re solve the issues. So let’s go back to that moment we talked about on the previous episode, that moment that you are 17 years old, you have missed your period and have decided to take the pregnancy test and it reads positive, that very moment, when you feel like your life is over, and just realized that the only thing that seems right for you to do is to tell your parents. This will not be an easy task at all but remember the longer you take to tell them, the more difficult it becomes, time is moving and it will not pause for you until you decide you are ready to accept the situation. No doubt that you will be feeling guilty, ashamed, thinking that you are now a bad person and your parents will think so to, and might reject you for what you did, but what is important at this stage is to once again remember the serenity prayer “God granted me the serenity to accept the things I cannot do, courage to change those that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”. Once you remind yourself this you will come into terms with the situation and know that there is no other way out, apart from putting aside the guilt and shame lingering around your head, but to tell your parents because they will eventually find out, if you decide to keep the pregnancy. 

Telling them 

Like we agreed, telling the folks will not be easy but the easiest way is to choose the right time to tell them , wait until they are calm and in a good mood. Take your time, do not rush off the process, don’t go round and round with it, be clear, calm and straightforward “I am pregnant” avoid the word I think, because that will piss them off and will bring lots of questions with the I think, remember till the point you decide to tell them, it is assumed that you are sure, otherwise you would not call them and tell them if you were not certain.  On the other hand if you are not so close with your parents or fear that they will be so strict about it , you can confide in someone closer to both you and your parents , this can be your aunt , sister, brother or grandparents , but be prepared to be called by your parents and prepare some answers. 

Parents possible Reactions

Prepare for the unexpected, remember each and every person is made up differently  and we all react to things differently, however it is common for parents to be heart broken, disappointed, angry and confused , don’t be mad when they do , remember a parent that loves you and had goals for you will be hurt with such news, so put your feelings aside and try and understand what your parents are feeling , try to be your parent for a moment , picture yourself 17 years from now ,and you have decided to keep the baby , and now the baby is now 17 just like you are right now and that child tells you she is pregnant , how will you feel ? . Remember you parents did not expect this; they probably thought you are still a virgin and now they are receiving such news. Allow them at that moment to freak out, shout, some might even beat you, now this is a topic that will discuss further on another episode, 

Prepare yourself to here words like abortion, adoption, you are cursed, you are no longer my child, you are a disappointment, this might also be in your mind but the best thing to do is to wait until you both are calmer, and sleep on it, give it time, like 3 days, than you can discuss the issue again and your options. 

Best Way to React Blog

As overwhelming as the news might be, it is very important to try and stay calm and be supportive, remember as disappointed and angry you might be at her, she is 10 times disappointed and angry at herself, so it’s best                                                                                                      Some parents might try to pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. But remember, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. If in doubt, talk to an objective third party, such as your school counselor. If possible, talk to your parents with your partner. This not only gives you an ally, but it shows a level of maturity from both of you. Finally, it’s your body and you will have to live with all your choices and consequences for the rest of your life, so think carefully about what is right for you                                        

 

      To be Continued , next episode we look at the Community impact on such issues

 

Comments 18

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Beth Lacey
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 20, 2018

Very wise advice.
Beth

rehema lyoka
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018

Dear Beth

Thank you so much , and please feel free to always correct me when you have a different opinion

Tamarack Verrall
Apr 20, 2018
Apr 20, 2018

Dear Rehema,

I love that you just jump into the deep water and lay out all of the subjects and responses that might be fears and/or actual conversations. Your own openness will surely help any young woman who has come to you or is reading from you hoping for advice and support.

rehema lyoka
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018

Dear Tamarack

Thank you so much , please feel free to let me know if there is any topic that you think we should talk about

Rosylyne Nabaala
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018

Hi sis,
the work your doing is a great work and its also saves our kids life. keep it up dear and may God bless you as you are planning for the next episode on community impact on this.

Rosylyne

rehema lyoka
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018

Dear Rosylyne

Am extremely grateful for the support . May God bless you as well because i need such people like you for the support

edith_3
Apr 23, 2018
Apr 23, 2018

Hi Rehema
Very powerful and important article. You will reach far my sister, all the best. Looking forward to hear from you

rehema lyoka
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018

Dear Edith

Thank you so much for the support

edith_3
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018

You are welcome. The world is connected by minds and the only channel we connect is by writing....you will go far my sister

Sister Zeph
Apr 25, 2018
Apr 25, 2018

Dear Rehema I have two schools and one skill center where we have 300 students and some of them give us really hard time in many things, I was praying to my Jesus to help me and here you are, your article is very informative and motivational thank you so much for sharing it, I will apply your suggestions for my students and will make them read your article, bless you

rehema lyoka
Apr 26, 2018
Apr 26, 2018

Dear Sister Zeph

Thank you so very much for this , and your willingness to share the article with the students so that it help them , I really love teaching as well , please tell me more about your school , maybe i can come and teach there it will be an adventure .

JulieG
Apr 25, 2018
Apr 25, 2018

Dear Beth,

I really love your introduction, "it's always a choice." And yes, the journey we are on is full of choices! I wish you many positive thoughts as you begin your own journey in this important work!

Warmly,

Sherna Alexander Benjamin
Jun 04, 2018
Jun 04, 2018

A nice piece, thank you for sharing and encouraging young people to remain in school. I may have missed it, however, it would have been good to see advice to include sexual and reproductive health education in schools and the training of NGOs or selected community facilitators. Also facilitating safe spaces for young girls to come together to be encouraged and get support.

rehema lyoka
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 26, 2018

Thank you so much for taking time to appreciate my work , as well as thank you for the advice , i was actually thinking of my next topic , thank you for the advice . May God bless you as well as i would like you to visit my website when you get the chance to do so .
reytox.simplesite.com

Anita Kiddu Muhanguzi
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 26, 2018

Wooow Rehema,
This is great work. We need many of the children to stay in school and also the advise you are giving is very very useful. Thank for being bold. This will impact many students and the community at large.
Stay blessed

rehema lyoka
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 26, 2018

Dear Anita

Thank you so much for the comment , it gives me the courage to continue doing what am doing , I would like to as well take this time to visit you on my website .

# reytox.simplesite.com

Nana Amponsah
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018

This is super Rehema. keep soaring.

Nyapaul
Feb 02
Feb 02

This is a chicken and egg situation and very important. Thank you