FORGIVENESS: The Medicine for the Hurt and Heart

It was the beginning of another Semester and I was just preparing for an exam paper when I got a call from my sister that my brother in-law had died. It was very tragic it tore me like a piece of paper, unable to figure out what to do at that particular moment. The previous year my immediate follower (sister) had died and my parents and we were going through a lot due to that. It was still very fresh in our minds and now this.
I thought of my sister and their two children and asked myself what really happened. He was a young and hard working man. Surely, death does not choose who to pick and does not give a second chance for one to live.

This was a very rough time for me. I wondered how I could be with my sister at that time and yet the exams were waiting for me. I battled with myself. My brother in-law was a Muslim and the burial had to take place same day. I was miles and miles away from their home and in another country. What I could do was pray for her and her children to gather strength to move on with life. I manage to force myself to finish the exams because I had no other chance to re-seat the papers. I finally got through successfully. I visited my sister long after that had happened

On the other hand, on the same day in the evening my husband called me to give yet another blow on the face. He called to say he had received two letters (his and mine) from our employer on termination of service. I and my husband shared the same employer but in different departments. This again was very unprecedented. It felt like a sharp knife going through me. It pained a lot.

We were hard working people and committed to what we did. We loved our work but we lost it anyway. We had our children in school and this became a rough road for us for quite a while. We were hurt. When you lose a job at a time you need it most, it hurts a lot. You go through hard times and those who hurt us do not seem to care how and when they do that to us.

We at last managed to move on and jumped those very high huddles. What remained in my heart were strong words that say that no one should ever go through what we went through. It should never happen to anyone and that employers should take into account/ consideration so many things especially where dialogue between them and employees is less or does not exist at all. “NO ONE SHOULD EVER GO THROUGH THAT FOR IT HURTS SO BAD.’

I at one time asked myself what if I met this person how will I react. I remember saying to myself I will greet him as a sign of forgiveness and move on without the negatives of him in my heart. God loves when we forgive one another

Did I ever meet the person who did that to us? Yes, many years after -I did and this was how it was. While passing by and unaware of my presence, I caught a glimpse of him. I then approached him to greet him. To my amazement he hugged me and then shook my hand. What was that about? I did not understand the reason for that but didn’t ask either. I had forgiven the person and that’s how we reconciled.

It’s not easy to forgive and yet it depends on what has been done to us especially where people have lost lives and are unable to change such situations. Some people have been jailed for years for mistaken identity; lives of loved ones have been lost. Women have become widows, children are orphaned and men have become widowers. War has razzed like wild fires killing innocent people- men, women and children. Women and girls have been raped. Does this warrant forgiveness? No matter how hard it is we need to learn to forgive for in that shall we find peace in our hearts and reconcile with others. Today, am healed from that pain. “Forgiveness is medicine for the hurt and the heart”