Dear Son,

You’re not yet in my womb but I love you with all my heart, my dearest. I can feel your tiny warm fingers against my skin, while you sleep calmly on my lap. I could have written to your unborn sister, but I chose you because I don’t want my son, my own blood to violate a woman, to devalue her worth. I want you to be a man, a real man. When I see all these mistreatment and violence against women, my blood boils, my soul grunts. It makes me sad, angry and hopeless, and therefore my love, I want you to understand all these injustices and brutalities, hoping that you will never do this to any woman.

I shall instill one truth from the day you’re born till I breathe my last- to respect women, to give her dignity as a fellow human being, recognize her ‘self’ as a nurturer of humanity and a source of inspiration. I shall teach you how to best adore her power of feeding and nourishing the whole of human kind with her endless love; how to appreciate her beauty that lies not in a 36-24-36 size or a white fairy-princess face, or a sexist doll image, but in her supreme feminine intellect and grace. And my love, I hope to share with you my own experiences of womanhood- my hardships, my challenges that I faced and my story of struggle and sacrifices I made because I am a woman, a mother- the only beauteous truth.

Because it is crucial for you to first understand the exploitation and subordination of women to gradually prepare yourself to defy and deconstruct patriarchal values and mindsets, I shall teach you to respect each and every human being, regardless of their sex, religion, colour or cast. I shall teach you why it is essential to respect each mother, sister, wife, female classmate, teachers or any woman as much as it is to your father, brother, male teacher or classmate. By the time you’ll grow into a teenager, I shall teach you not to bow before the temptations of popular cult of disrespecting or dominating women, or devaluing them as inferior with no real capacity of reason, or worse, objectifying them into a mere pleasure of flesh.

I shall teach you not to harass woman and girls, or hurt their emotions in any ways because it is important for you to understand the very basic truth that a woman is NOT for entertainment. Please remember, physical wound alone is not the ultimate form of violence. It may manifest at a deeper psychic level, which doesn’t always have to be rape or acid attack, or trafficking or molestation. Even eve-teasing is violence. Playing with a woman’s emotions or using her body for the satiation of male desires or ego, they all amount to some sort of psychological and emotional violence, a subtle level of violence. The bruises and bleeding of such violence only devastate a woman, although it may just be entertainment for men. How could one ever seek pleasure out of someone’s pain? The world, my love, is all dark without this ‘other half.’

In near future, I hope that all families and societies in the world will have instilled in the young minds of their sons a tradition to respect women, to appreciate their worth; and not to promote such cultural values that dehumanize, brutalize, or disrespect women. I’ll give you courage to stand tall against injustices, discrimination and violence. For you my sweetheart, I envision a world where there is peace, love and respect for each human, for each being alive in this universe. And, finally I hope you’ll be a good son, brother, husband, father and above all, a good man. I pray that all the mothers could make this beautiful dream come true. God bless you with reason, courage and patience to act humanely.

With love, Momma

Take action! This post was submitted in response to Take Back the Tech 2013.

Comment on this Post


Thanks for sharing this. I just submitted a love letter to my daughter so instantly wanted to read your piece. It is crucial we teach our sons, brothers and men how to respect women and girls. Thanks for reminding us.

Best wishes, Osai

Twitter: @livingtruely

Dear Osai,

Thank you for reading my post dear sister. It is important indeed to teach our sons to respect and love all the people. Only by developing such a tradition in our coming generations can we imagine a changed world.

With love, Sangita

Your message is something I hope is shared by mothers across the globe. It is so important that our children are raised in a loving and nurturing environment that teaches them about respect. Unfortunately, thousands of children are not given such an opportunity. May they find the truth you have expressed elsewhere.

Courtney Michelle Miller Digital Communications Strategist and Multimedia Producer

Dear Courtney,

I too wish and hope that all the mothers would make their dreams of rearing their children amid love, dignity, freedom and peace come true. And, I wish no child, son or daughter, be denied to access to such an opportunity. It is wonderful to receive your comment. Thank you.

With love, Sangita

Hello Sangita,

Thank you so much for writing this piece, articulating so beautifully the necessity of raising empathetic, kind, respectful sons.

We parents have a very big responsibility. I often feel like I'm swimming upstream in american culture, wishing to shield my sons from the more repulsive characteristics that permeate popular culture: the glorification of violence, machismo, misogyny, sexualization of women/girls. Our children's precious innocence so quickly deteriorates, as they're inevitably exposed to the imagery of a sick society: the advertisements, etc. I have to make myself keep the dialogue open, because they do notice the imagery, and we need to talk about what they see in the checkout stand at the store/hear on the schoolyard, etc., no matter how uncomfortable it makes us. Yuck!

You are so right when you say we must teach/demonstrate the utmost respect for EVERY SINGLE human being, regardless of sex, ability, whatever. This is the foundation of empathy. Are we being the kind of people we want our children to be? YES: patience, respect, understanding, and love for each and every human being. No exceptions.

You inspire me, Sangita. Thank you for gracing us with your insight and wisdom.



______________________________________________________________________________ "I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being." -Hafiz

Dear Susan,

Thank you for your wonderful comment. It is only through love and respect towards each other that we or our sons and daughters could make the world a better place. It is equally important to dismantle the prevailing cult of devaluing and objectifying women, the prime root of violence and hatred against women. I understand it is very difficult to instill such values in our children today amid growing misogyny and sexualization of women, but we must keep striving. After all, a mother and family are a child's first school and first step towards socialization.

With love, Sangita

Dear Sangita, In my work I closely follow the emerging research on how to develop leaders with character traits like persistence, respect, grit and gratitude. Often, that research (such as the Greater Good Science Center at University of California at Berkeley) involves contemplation and 'the science' of raising children, including boys, on how to be compassionate, how to use positive traits necesssary to interact in the world as adults in ways that are collaborative, peaceful and meaningful.

Nothing I have read touched me as much as your "love letter." I hope that you submit your work elsewhere too (I'm thinking of The Good Men Project).

Thank you so much for sharing this incredible piece of work. I have absolutely no doubt that when you have a child you'll "...give you courage to stand tall against injustices, discrimination and violence. For you my sweetheart, I envision a world where there is peace, love and respect for each human, for each being alive in this universe. And, finally I hope you’ll be a good son, brother, husband, father and above all, a good man."

Brilliant, inspirational, beautifully written and obviously heartfelt. Bravo, Sangita, bravo!

My best regards, Jone

Jone M. Bosworth, J.D.

Thank you so much dear Jone for your encouraging words. It is essential for each parent to teach their sons and daughters about human values and greater sense of love and respect more than anything in today's world to resist the pervasive violence and injustices. Your research sounds interesting. I hope it will pave new ways for rearing children in this increasingly violent world. Good luck!

With love, Sangita

Sangita, you make feel exactly the way you write. Instilling these in our sons is very urgent if we want to see a violent free society among women in future. Thank you so much. But it sometimes beats my understanding when some women consider certain (mis) treatments as okay for them. such as giving a woman a 'small' slap by her lover/husband is a sign of care and love; serving him to eat first before other members is a sign of respect (you don't to eat together) etc. So we as women also need to know what we deserve as respectable human beings, then we can demand for what we deserve. Again thank you for your very insightful love letter.

Grace Ikirimat "It takes the hammer of persistence to drive the nail of success."

Dear Ikirimat, i completely agree with you that we women should also be fully aware of our rights and should as much respect our 'selves' as we do others. Of course, there is no doubt we must also instill this fact to our daughters and sons alike. Thank you for mentioning this important point.

With love, Sangita

Dear Sangita,

This amazing letter you've written to your unborn son is exquisite and deeply meaningful. From the beginning, when you explain why you are writing to a son rather than a daughter, your letter is unforgettable and profound. Sangita, you have not only given and shared a huge amount of loving awareness and wisdom here, but you have all this and more to give to the world from this moment forward. My fondest wish for you regarding this magnificent contribution is that it will be widely read. I will share it, and I trust you will continue to submit it to any venue that will appreciate the magnitude of this message. And World Pulse is the best possible place to start. Anyone who reads this piece has much to gain from it. All those with compassion will be touched by it. So, I applaud you, I bow to you and I thank you. With Admiration and Respect,


Sarah Whitten-Grigsby

Oh dear Sarah, im so touched! Thank you so much for your beautiful words that not only encouraged me to write more, but also gave a sense of my own strength as a woman. I wish I could make this dream of each mother come true. I wish I could instil these values to all our sons and daughters. With our due contribution, the world would definitely change. I hope to see a better world that respects women.

And, thanks again for your moral and emotional support. They're my strength.

With love, Sangita

Yes, Sangita,

You have GREAT strength and tremendous positive power as a women. Never lose sight of that, no matter what hurdles appear in your path. I send you ongoing support across the miles between us. Love, Sarah

Sarah Whitten-Grigsby

Your articulately written letter to your unborn son is one letter every woman should send out to their unborn and birthed sons. It is also a must read for everyone- men women, boys, girls, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunties, nephews, nieces, daughters, sons, fathers, mothers...................... I mean everyone, everywhere!

I will do likewise by preaching and teaching my unborn sons the importance of respecting "each and every human being, regardless of their sex, religion, colour or cast. I also join in the prayers that "all the mothers would make this beautiful dream come true".

I am grateful to you for sharing this transforming message. I just want to read it over and over again. I wont be selfish, so I will share it with as many people as I can. With your permission, I would love to print and share it. God bless you real good!


My dear Green Girl, thank you so much for your words. They are valuable to me. Of course, you can share this letter. God bless you with more opportunities to spread love and positivity! You are truly a sweetheart.

With love,


Dear Sangita,

Your user profile lists writing as your passion and communication as your area of experise, and rightfully so! The letter to your unborn son is so incredibly beautiful and so eloquently relays your message. First of all, thank you for writing this piece and sharing it with World Pulse. I encourage you to submit it elsehwere, if you haven't already.

I work with domestic/sexual violence victims. We know that shifting the paradigm requires a shift in consciousness in what it takes 'to be a man'. Your letter expresses what that shift would like like. I share your vision of 'a world where there is peace, love and respect for each human'. My wish is that that world exists when your son (and daughter) are born.

Please continue to share your talents with the world as we work for the world we want. I look forward to reading more by you.

In peace, Beverly

Dear Sangita,

Your words are truly beautiful, "For you my sweetheart, I envision a world where there is peace, love and respect for each human, for each being alive in this universe." As a mother to sons, I share your vision. Thank you for sharing such a heartwarming and hopeful letter to your precious child.


"One shoe can change a life" ~ Cinderella

Dear Aimeeknight, Masoso and Beverly, thank you so much for your solidarity and encouragement. I cannot but expect a beautiful Tomorrow that would turn our shared dreams into a reality shining bright like our bond of sisterhood. Thank you my dear sisters. More power to you all.

With love, Sangita