Posted February 14, 2018 from Zambia

My contribution on how we can Raise Boys who Champion Gender Equality is on one point "Mind-set change" of the boys as they grow. The evolution of how boys should treat women should start from their homes. When a Male child is growing, the parents should be able to expose that child to equal house responsibilities such as House Chores. They should grow to know that girls are not supposed to do everything at home while boys just watch. For example they should learn that boys can wash plates after meals. Know that it is normal for a boy to clean the house and cook just like girls do. It should not be taken as a taboo for a man to cook for his woman. This can only be taken so if it is instilled in men from childhood.

This should start when a boy is as young as seven years or earlier than that. The boy should be made to clean his room, wash his cloths, and make his bed. From then he will have a responsibility to be doing that every day and a boy brought up in that manner is likely to grow into a man who will be able to know that women are equal to men. Women should be given time to read, study and get education. A man is not supposed to take a woman as a slave or anything lower than him. For example, God didn’t create Eve for Adam as a house worker, but a person he had to take care of. Biblically, a woman was awarded with a responsibility of supplementing a man`s effort but not as his slave.

I believe, the brutality of a man towards a woman has everything to do with the man`s background. The culture, values and principles he was made to believe since childhood. In Africa we have some traditions in which men are taught from childhood that a woman is just good at house chores and childbearing. Hence, when men in that environment see women standing out and doing what men do, they feel intimidated and less like men. Therefore, such men become brutal to those women because they feel challenged. But we can change this if we change the mind-set of men from childhood. In addition, children learn through imitation, due to that, they can as well imitate from their parents how to respect women. They can be taught that women are human beings with their own strengths and can do things even better than men. Both women and men are equal human beings.

I say so because I passed through it. I grew up among females and they could do almost all the house chores as we (boys) watch and go to school. They would cook, sweep the house and wash plates. But one thing was different.

In my Upper Primary I was in the same class with my immediate elder sister and we used to do the same class work. In my society, it was believed that girls were not better than boys at Mathematics and Sciences. To my surprise my elder sister was better than me at Mathematics and mostly I would face challenges in the subject and only she would help. She didn’t want me to fail anything in class and hence we could do class exercises together. She taught me Mathematics even though sometimes when I tell my friends they could not believe. Today, I have the reason why my friends never believed that my sister taught me Mathematics. That was because the society they were in portrayed discrimination between men and women. It was a society in which women were considered neither equal nor better to/than men.

I once believed that there were things that only men can do that women cannot. That gave me a mind of superiority towards men. But, with time, I came to realize that I grew up with a single parent (Mother) who could do physical works which earlier I thought only men can do. This later changed my view towards human beings in terms of sex. My mother could do small businesses with me. She could put food on the table for almost all of us. I came to learn from her things that I could not see in other men.

I appreciated more the importance of women and why they deserve respect when I met Madam Wendy Stebbins- the founder of I AM ONE IN A MILLION. She taught me that women are equal to us. We used to meet as a group with girls. Sometimes she would suggest that girls should just sit and allow boys to prepare food for everyone. We would prepare food and serve to female members of the group. This act made ladies notice their importance and made me realize that a woman deserves respect and has to be treated in such line. Above all, Wendy Stebbins is hard working at working Smart. She taught me a lot of success principles which I am applying in my life today. She is a woman but her story is inspiring to a lot of men. She stands as my inspiration and scale of what I have to do every day to reach my dreams. Today I don’t just sit and watch a woman do everything or worship me. It's my duty and responsibility to come in and make that equality between us. I realized this through my King-Women.

In conclusion, it is a responsibility of every parent with male children to assign equal responsibilities to the children of both sexes. Boys as they grow should be taught that women are equal through making them do the same THING at times like house chores. These boys will grow knowing that males and females are equal. And know that every evolution that begins with children goes a mile and remains in them forever. Hence, for this equality to come in, it needs the mind-set change spearheaded by parents/guardians.

This post was submitted in response to Bringing Up Boys .

Comments 13

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Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018

Thanks a lot Smart. Your points are doable and I know many homes that are practising it.

I am happy that you met Madam Wendy. She is an Angel. A blessed soul.

Keep on changing the world. One friend at time...

My warmest regards to your sisters.

Thank you so much Olutosin

Feb 15, 2018
Feb 15, 2018

Hi Smart. Thanks so much for sharing your story and being honest. It's so important for people to be honest, to take responsibility for the actions and to grow from it. It inspires others to do the same. I'm looking forward to seeing what you use your talents for and what your mission is.

Greetings Jlanghus.I am very humbled.Thank you.

Feb 11
Feb 11

You're welcome:-)

Wendy Stebbins
Feb 16, 2018
Feb 16, 2018

Hi Smart,

YOU HAVE GIVEN ME THE GIFT OF IN MY LIFETIME AS I SEE MYSELF  "PASS THE TORCH". What a reward and award for me. My heart is full. Thank you.

Congratulations on a well thought out, well written piece, chuck full of meaningful inspiration and ideas. I don't think anyone knows what a challenge financially it was for you just to come up with bundles(talk time) to write your piece or finding a place where the internet was working. But as always, you rose to the occasion and NEVER TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. Haha. Very proud of you, Smart. 

Hello Wendy, thank you so much.

Katongo Derick
Feb 21, 2018
Feb 21, 2018

Wow what a beautiful piece of writing.So encouraging and insightiful. I have learnt alot from it. Thanx Smart.

Thank you bro

Mar 05, 2018
Mar 05, 2018

Well done that is the exact point it all starts in the home boys and girls share equal chores There is no girls work or boys work it is for all take turns to do the jobs Parents guardians the community equal chores not gender based work 

Greetings Hadebe.Thank you so much.

Marie Abanga
Feb 09
Feb 09

Dear Smart,

Thank you so much. As a mother of 4 boys, I cannot but say I am so inspired and motivated. I teach my boys all this everyday, there is no other woman in this house apart from myself to begin with hahaha. Even when our female relatives visit, there is no difference in who does what.
I really hope you had success with your submission
warm regards

Greetings Marie.Thank you so much for the encouragement.I am greatly humbled.