Visiting My Nighbor

Visiting my neighbor in the noon would make the time pass away quickly .being fastening in those hot days not easy I entered her home and take my seat then we were talking it starts like women chit chat. I hate myself when I came back home showing the recording video of my mind, remembering of our conversation, how silly saying useless words it would not push me a step in life what was I telling oh I am a disaster. afterward I didn't stop blaming myself for saying stupid things now I am laying in my bed try to write what I can't reveal .
Secrets, sad secrets keep out scars it needs a huge amount of love to heal the injured soul. now I am taking off my socializing facial mask its shining made out of gold it is tough enough to face snow storms , being there with charming neighbor made me somehow suffering from happiness and left my chin wet oh my neighbor she a pretty lovely girl I just find my tongue released talking about any idea pass through my mind she a good listener and I am a good talkative What are funny subjects I open , my sister's husband, my life, a girl I barley know , people who are living between two societies and cultures
I am asking myself should this conversation make care to her absolutely not ok I will stop being tortured with my own sword and go on to the main subject "losing" now she offered me a quite smile and I have been invited to her boys room no one should blame her to act like so cruel I am the one who asked to see her baby girls clothes I beeped a look on that pinky shirt" it is fabulous" I said " I think so" she answered then we starts one by one until I finished them all I never miss to tell a compliment for every single piece especially for tiny sandals that should be a medal better than shoe . How kind God with us he gave part of us a new life to carry on what we could not finish. that is gorgeous eyes yes it makes us mothers , makes us leaders .The joy of their coming can't compare to all world's money I finally understand the circle of life oh babies I love you love looking to angle legs
My neighbor said with eyes full of pity which I did not need I hope you would be pregnant soon then I could stop by to see your baby's preparation clothes I tried to ignore what she did say I really did not want her to mention my big lost my twins baby boys I have broken heart and so tears pray to flow. Yes but not yet. I hold on i take a deep breath then said" I hope so".