Introducing myself and my journal: All The Way From Top To The Bottom and Back Again!

Posted October 8, 2014 from United States

About Me: I'm a successful business woman who has been all over the world, met Presidents, movie stars, rock stars and made millions of dollars but most importantly I was in an abusive marriage for over twenty years. Innately I am a people person and entrepreneur. My business acumen, vision and passion made success fairly easy. I never dreamed I would be in an abusive relationship. I always believed I had so much going for me and I would never let myself be taken advantage of or allow someone to control me.

While living through the journey was very difficult, it has been the wildest ride of my life. A journey I don't regret but a journey that requires that I share my story of defeat and personal disgust to amazing hope, faith and fulfillment. My abuser was very strong, charming and smart. At the end of our relationship, he was determined to destroy me emotionally and financially. While he succeed in taking away all my financial security for a while, the experience made me stronger, sharper and more open to giving back to others. In the end I won the battle with my abuser. Not by fighting with him but by learning to be my own best friend, loving the universe and letting the power of the universe make me into the wonderful amazing, accomplished woman I was always meant to be!

My Passions: politics, hiking, skiing, dogs

My Challenges: I was destroyed financially and emotionally

My Vision for the Future: That women throughout the world will find their very special power

My Areas of Expertise: I'm a marketing/public relations genius

Comments 6

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  • Della Rae
    Oct 09, 2014
    Oct 09, 2014


    Your post gave me chills. I agree that having all taken, yet finding a way to hold on to your soul, a gift that others can only take if you let them.

    When you are ready, certainly your story will serve to inspire others!

    Thank you!

  • Startingover
    Oct 12, 2014
    Oct 12, 2014

    My mission is help other women come out from the shadows, no matter where they are in their journey. Unfortunately many women do not consider themselves victims of abuse because they don't fit the stereo typical view of an abused woman. If she does not have bruises or hasn't been regularly hit, throw against the wall, choked or had things thrown at her, she doesn't believe she has been abused. But frequently the most damaging part of abuse is emotional or financial. I would like to see the definition of domestic violence be completely overhauled! It needs to incorporate more about emotional and financial abuse. While I suffered from all of it, I know many women who are currently being controlled by abusive men through emotional and financial means. Some of these women never have had any physical abuse--YET! Since I too was only hit or thrown against a wall occasionally, I didn't think I was being abused. In reality the emotional abuse and the financial constraints were far more damaging than the periodic physically confrontation, but I couldn't see it because I wasn't the battered wife in the movies or the television shows.

    Unfortunately, Hollywood does not help. Dr Phil and his wife have done many shows on woman who have been brutally abused. My heart and my thanks go to Dr Phil for what he is trying to do. But when women watch these shows they see someone who is beat to the point of hospitalization. If these women watching the show are being verbally and emotionally abused on a regular bases but they aren't being put in the hospital, they don't believe they are abused. They often do not have control of their own finances because their spouses or partners have convinced them they are not capable of taking care of themselves. Some of these men are very successful in their own careers and have convinced their wives that without them they could not survive. The women may have minor physical abuse but because they aren't been physically abused on a regular bases, they believe they can't be TRUE abuse victims.

    My ex-husband and I,built a very successful business worth tens of millions. Whenever he had one of his abusive episodes where he throw me against the wall or throw something at me, he would tell me that if I called the police, we would lose everything. Since it only happened once every couple of months and he never actually hit me in the face, I figured it wasn't worth losing it all. This denial on my part, laid the ground work for my ex-husband to have immense emotionally control which coupled with my financial dependence lured me into an emotional state that was far more damaging than the infrequent physical attacks.

    Grossly physically abused victims are the image most people see in the movies, on television shows or talk shows like Dr Phil, or on the news when celebrates like Ray Rice knock out their wives. It's the definition of battering. When a woman who isn't being physically abuse on a regular bases shares her story with friends or family she may be told, "it's not that bad" or "at least he isn't REALLY abusing you, look at what happened to Ray Rice's wife, now that's abuse". These comments convince the woman she is making a mountain out of mole hill and shouldn't be such a baby.

    Many times these women do end up committing suicide or if their attempts aren't successful, like mine were not, they are deemed emotionally unstable, further confirming what their abusive partners has been saying all along. The danger for women who experience more emotional and financial abuse is isolation. They are convinced that this is their problem not their abusers. I know, it happened to me.

    But it also helped me find my very intense survival instinct and as this was awakened it made me see my life in a whole new light. The journey to get out was not easy, it was horrible, but worth every ounce of gumption I had!

    If you know of anyone who falls in this category, please share my posts. I'd love to hear from them and show them there is hope and a way out!

  • Yvette Warren
    Oct 17, 2014
    Oct 17, 2014

    Welcome to World Pulse, Sister.

    I am greeting you from New Orleans, Louisiana, USA. It is wonderful for the future of our world that you choose to use your many gifts to empower others through education. World Pulse exists to share our strengths with those who need them.

    Abuse seems to be the way of the world in seeking power. I, too, lost everything more than once, and have always started over. I applaud your courage and willingness to share your strengths. You may be interested in introducing yourself, through World Pulse, to Olutosin Oladosu, who backed her abusive husband down and now teaches empowerment through entrepreneurial skills to women in Nigeria. I have been hoping to find a marketing genius to assist her in getting the merchandise that these women create to an upscale USA market.

    Your visions are one step closer to achievement when you network in such a strong group of empowered people. You are only one person, but you are smart enough to know that our power is exponential when combined with other powerful people. In order to learn more about what World Pulse has to offer, please read the guide to getting started

    You are now a part of a thriving grassroots network of women leaders and supporters from more than 190 countries. I look forward to hearing more of your voice in WorldPulse.

    Continue to be a blessing.

  • Startingover
    Oct 19, 2014
    Oct 19, 2014

    Thank you Yvette! You are so right about achieving our goals through a network of empowered people. I will reach out to Olutosin Oladosu. Her journey sounds amazing and I am a huge supporter and believer in micro credit programs for women entrepreneurs in third world country. I may have a few ideas about merchandising her products to retail outlets in the USA.

    I am very excited about the power of World Pulse and the ultimate good it will achieve!


  • Sherna Alexander Benjamin
    Oct 22, 2014
    Oct 22, 2014

    Your post was moving it made me see the strength of women to survive, I am happy you are here. Welcome to WorldPulse, a community where grassroots women share their experiences, garner support, encourage each other and learn. Women from all over the world are members of this community and as a fellow member, I encourage you to share your experiences, give suggestions, build networks in this beautiful community which weaves women across the globe.

  • Fatima Waziri - Azi
    Nov 24, 2014
    Nov 24, 2014

    Hey there! Welcome to Worldpulse community!

    You are now part of a thriving network of grassroots women leaders and supporters from more than 190 countries. It’s so exciting having you with us, I am sure you will have a fabulous time with your new online friends as well as find this to be a very positive experience. I encourage you to take advantage of the numerous resources and features available through our vibrant online community.

    Welcome again to our global community and I look forward to hearing more from you.