Learning and letting go.

Posted May 27, 2009 from United States

I figured out something, about me self. I had a grudge. It wasn't of hate but of extreme disappointment. I was terribly shocked to find out I had that in me... In my heart. I realized that I have so much disappointment from my dad. He is a very, very bad guy... I cried when I admitted I loved a real bad guy. But I feel so light hearted... I don't feel this is really important to write this but I'm glad I did, I feel like I'm finally moving on...

Dad, I don't know if I should post what he did to us.... Put us in poverty, made us feel like crap, I felt I wasn't worth it at all. We were nothing more than an object and a last priority to him... That makes me feel so sad that I can't be anything more to him except a baby machine and a money tool for him... I mean... He always smiled and his face said he cared for us but he never cared and I'm glad I can start moving on!!

I am strong and I can move on without him, I don't need him, I am myself and no one is going to use me and I will look back and smile at my progress! Whew... Yeah...I have my family and me mum to thank. I will make all of them proud and I will never stop loving them!

I will keep going on letting go of the past and walking to a beautiful light.

Comments 4

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  • Jacqueline Patiño
    May 27, 2009
    May 27, 2009

    I always am so glad to know that a girl has graduated and wants to continue studying. That is the way to go, dear! Don't let anything or anyone get in your way. You have all you need to succeed: Your brain and your heart.

    They say that the two opposites of life are love and intelligence, and the way we make the two ends meet, make up for the final result of our lives.

    I am really happy you could let go of your father. It is always good to get away from bad people and live a life full of love, the inmense love you have in your heart to give to everyone.

    Thanks for posting this. You had made us part of your success, and we wish you a bright future, full of surprises and love. Just do me a favor: get away from men until you finish the university, OK?

    Lots of love to you, and a big hug.


  • Maria de Chirikof
    May 27, 2009
    May 27, 2009

    It is sometimes hard to let go of something that is harming to your soul because it gives you the feeling of "this happened to me so I have a right to feel this way" which is good for creating the reasons to become motivated but can end up being harmful when you hold it close to your heart. I am proud of you for reflecting and thinking about your life since everyone knows how hard it is for children caught in a bad marriage.

    It is important to learn that you need to first find your worth inside yourself, something we are all learning together. I bet it does feel better to post it and then it can feel 'real'! But remember it is inside your heart that counts most. Looking forward to your continued search and empowering of yourself and increasing that feeling of confidence in yourself you have found!


  • LauraB
    May 28, 2009
    May 28, 2009

    You have such insight and care. Yes, you will move on and let go. You are growing and becoming a wider, fuller self. I have a dad that I don't understand much of the time and think acts out of self interest. I feel his actions are his loss though, because my love, my wholehearted, big, inclusive love is directed to those that receive and give it back. When someone acts in a small, self-centered way, that's what they get back from the world.

    I think you are on your way!



  • Kizzie
    May 31, 2009
    May 31, 2009

    I'm happy you've identified this grudge, you have to do that to let go. Letting go is healthy and it's so beneficial for you:) We can't pick our parents , but we can pick the lives we wish to lead and this is what you should do:)

    good luck!

    Is that a cinnamon roll? from cinnabon? if it is, yummy!