Ties that Bind

hi all,i have now been married for the last two years and it has not been easy...of course there is no marriage that is easy....mine has been rocky,rockier and now rockiest at times i want to ask at what stage do you say to hell and move on with your life?

ken is also positive and we knew of our status around the same time...i see him deteriorate as each day passes by and for a fact i know that he will not be here for long.he is blatantly ignorant and does not care at all of course affecting his family.he is a heavier drinker and drinks every day.i dont like it we talk about it every day and there is no change forthcoming...im thinking what if we loose him today what will come of this family?i look at those two boys every day i see those little innocent eyes full of hope thinking and assured of themselves that everything is o.k.everyday that i step out of that house i promise to make a change in there lives somehow...what if daddy is not there tomorrow will life have to change?i don't want it..i have promised myself that it has to be better...somehow.

at times i want to walk out with my two boys...but they need him also..he also needs me.i can not be helping people outside yet i have not solved my own problems...at times he is the reason why i do what i do becourse i feel them..i hope that he changes & soon...for his own sake.

'for richer for poorer in sickness and in health'..i hope that i will be strong enough to a bind in this voes....

Tabby.