Dear friends it’s with deep sorry that I write to you this journal. I feel sad. To inform you that John lost the fight. The sister just called and I dint know what to tell her I told her that I would get back to her. I have so many questions to ask God today? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

I don’t think that anyone would understand how much I feel I have lost.

I thought it was important that you know this. Please cry with me.


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This is sad.Sorry for this great loss.

This should be a reminder to all of us: Let us value the privilege of life,and serve in it...

Pole sana Tabby.


Dear Tabby,

You are correct, no one can know, no one can understand what you feel in your heart or what you believe you have lost. Our hearts go out to you. Our tears flow with you. We hope our prayers support you. We know that only you can know, only you can feel, only you can discover meaning in what appears as senseless loss.

I will share with you what has helped me.

No matter how many times, no matter for how long, and no matter how much I beg God to answer the question “Why?” there is no answer that a loving human can understand or accept. God calls his children home when it is time for their return; He does not explain his reasoning to us nor could we understand it if He did. I weep for our loss yet rejoice in their return home to the Lord.

No matter how much I want to find meaning, it is impossible; I must make meaning. They way I have done this is to reflect upon what I saw as their best quality, and make it my own to carry forward. For my friend Stacey (who died at 18 years old), I do my best to carry her Joy forward as my own. For my friend Mary-Therese (who died at 32 years old), I do my best to carry forward unconditional love and service to the Divine. For my friend Kay who died only a few months ago, I do my best to carry forward her love of life even as she slowly lost it to cancer. As I get older, I will have to carry more, but this is the job of elders. When the weight becomes too heavy, God will call me home.

Blessings to you Dear One of the Light, Dave…

In Friendship, Dave...

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -- Mohandas K. Gandhi

In Friendship, Dave...

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -- Mohandas K. Gandhi

I'm sorry to hear of this, Tabby. I have been thinking so much about John and the story you relayed to us just recently about his struggle and your friendship. John, his family and his loved ones are very present in my mind and in my heart.

With love,



I am so saddened by the news of John. Another life lost to this disease that plagues our world, especially the continent of Africa. I know this must be a difficult time for you and for all those who were close to John.

You are right in that I cannot imagine the pain and loss you are going through, but know that despite the difference of circumstance and the distance between us, I am thinking of you and I am here for you to listen to your words, listen to your grief, feel your tears and feel the enormity of your beautiful soul and your generous heart.

His death is a testament to the fight we must continue in combating HIV and AIDS so that future lives are lived rather than lost.

Love, Jade