Am an evolving woman, i believe am getting to that stage where i wanna get married, marry a man who will treat me as a princess. Am one of those girls who still believe in the fairy tale. Get a perfect man, have cute little babies and live happily ever after.It hasn't always been the same for one of my best friends, MY MOTHER.... i have watched my mom be ridiculed, belittled,broken her wrist by the hands of my father. And while i love my father more than life its self, i can not still come to terms about his treatment of my mom, his need to feel macho at her expense.

My mother is simply the strongest women, calling her my hero is simply an understatement. She has overcome more than is painful to talk about on my watch, sometimes i wish i could go back and stand up for my only mother, and fight for her , but what chance did i ever stand my self? What chance really?? Am an African woman and however liberal i wanna be there is social curtails to whom i should be, what i should talk about , how i should speak about the disrespect of my father towards my mother .

One day, just one day am gonna tell this man i religiously , genuinely love, the man who has given me everything to love my mom a little more. Just love peacefully more, I hope i pick up my courage soon, i see the love but yet see the hate more, why cant it just be LOVE? WHY WON'T EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE , AND ABUSE TOWARDS WOMEN END?? Because some times we are just too weak and scared and watch it go on!!

During these 16 days of activism against gender violence. I would want us not to forget the most horrific form of violence there can exist, EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE.

This Christmas, i hope to stand up towards my Father for my mother's sanity!

Take action! This post was submitted in response to Take Back the Tech 2013.

Comment on this Post


The beauty of us as human beings, is that we change. The beauty of culture is that it is always changing. The beauty of speaking out is that you shed light in a space that exists so far and wide, but that so few are scared to really look at. With honesty. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your courage. YOU are shaping culture, the social curtails of tomorrow.

In solidarity, Tiffany

Dear Patsy, i salute your valiant attempt to speak against violence through your writing! Its really hard to speak out, especially if it is a private affair of your own family. And yet more courageous is your mom. My sincere respect to her, and to you dear, for being so brave and candid!

with love,


We all deserve to be princess including your Mum and you can have courage to speak against the abuse she has been facing. I am sure there is that inner courage and strength in you, just tap it and the universe will also help you. Your voice is your weapon and you have to raise it. It is not to insult your father but to make him see reason that what he has been doing to your Mum is wrong. Let him know that God gave him your mum for him to be complete and that beating her is like beating, disgracing and degrading himself. This xmas you have to stand up and you will stand up to your father for your mother's sanity!! Your writing is inspiring!

You are not alone!

With Love and Hugs Busayo

Busayo Obisakin Women inspiration Development center Ile-Ife, Nigeria

Thanks Busayo, My dad doesn't beat my mom anymore, it happened twice i think when i was younger, its just the psychological abuse these days and when my mom talks to me about it, i just usually feel sorry for her and do nothing because am torn . its my vow to stand up from now on.

thanks for loving my writing, it makes me happy hearing that.

Kind Regards, Patsy.

Dear Patsy,

The quote above is not mine, though I quote it as it is relevant to your journal post. First of all, thank you for sharing such a personal story. You love your father, but not his actions. This is always difficult for a child.

I work as a domestic violence/sexual violence advocate, so I am all too familiar with abuse in all its forms. Sometimes the emotional is more damaging than the physical, and the effects can be longer lasting. First commandment is - No one deserves to be abused! We all deserve to be treated with love and respect, and to be safe.

I believe you have taken the first step by speaking about what you see and by knowing that it is wrong and that you do not want that for yourself (or your mother). I believe that as more women of all ages begin to speak out against the underlying attitudes and beliefs that allow this to happen, that they are starting to crumble and eventually they will collapse. There are men across the globe who have joined this fight and I believe that all these steps will be successful. Please keep speaking your Truth, especially for those who cannot. In peace,Beverly

Hey Beverly,

thanks for the kind words and keep up the good work .I believe the emotional abuse can really take a toll on anyone, while physical wounds may heal, it is harder to heal the emotional ones, and even more disturbing because the physical can lead to the emotional abuse.

Kind Regards, Patsy.

You are a beautiful and brave soul.

The very best course you can take is to be sure YOU never allow it to happen to you.

For you to break this chain, break this history, of violence is crucial. Your family line can continue on as a peaceful loving only family tree when you make sure that the person you choose to partner with is a partner who never degrades you and your beautiful human life force with violence of any kind.

May all of the power of love in the universe walk beside you in this path to give you the strength you need to keep and honor the pact you must make with yourself to never allow violence in your life. With love and strength, Kim


Dear Patsy,

My heart goes out to you and your mother, your heroine. Your pen is your most powerful instrument. Thank you for sharing your story of courage and most of all hope.


"One shoe can change a life" ~ Cinderella