I am in the second semester of my MBA degree and when i look back at where i have come from, i can only say it is by the grace of God. I must acknowledge, it is tough going to school when you're married and have young children to take care of. All other things still remain constant, they still need the same attention they got when school was not in the picture, and i have found myself making many sacrifices, giving up what i want to do, just to add some laughter to my children. I feel sad when they ask,'Mum, are you going to school today?' because that means, i will not tuck them in at night as i get home at 10pm, and sometimes may not talk to them in the morning as i have to leave early for work at 6.30am.
My friends and colleagues keep asking, "how do you manage all this?" As a Daughter, wife, mother, sister, friend, pastor's wife, a mentor, with each of those titles having various responsibilities attached to them,it can only be God who gives the grace and i cannot do it by myself. Sometimes i feel guilty when i have not given something the attention it requires because i didn't have the time. I have always insisted on excellence in whatever one does and i believe in the saying..."If you can't do it well, don't do it at all!" So i have had to put off many things. I have almost perfected the art of saying, NO, because i would rather not commit myself to something when i know i cannot do it well. This has even hurt my relationship with girl friends, because i no longer have time for coffee and catching up, no time to visit them at home as we were so accustomed to.
I have come to realize that in life we have to make so many sacrifices to add some value to our lives. I know the degree is good for me, it will build my career in one way or another and bring joy to my family too as i grow, but i didn't know that one year of study can be so costly, not just the cost of the education but cost in terms of time and relationships. Sleep too has become a rare friend as i find myself studying late into the night. I am sure there are women like me who have been through the same things. I now know, not to judge anyone harshly when they cannot be available for an event or activity. One can only understand if they have been through what one is going through. I encourage myself daily that it is just one year, now i have just 4 months to go before i complete and how i long for that time when it will all be over. Yet i know, it is not the end of learning, i still have the desire to do PhD. The thing on my mind now, is how do i balance it all and still remain faithful to my commitments.
I know i haven't posted anything on Pulsewire in a long while and it is my prayer that my pulse wire community too can understand. I just submitted my Research proposal yesterday and will be defending it next week, to begin working on my research project. I will be completing my study by August and that will also mark the completion of the degree with 2 more main exams to go, one in July and the final exams in August. I kindly request that you uphold me in prayer as we continue in this work that we're doing.