20 evils in a woman’s bottom

A week ago, I posted a note on my facebook profile. It was an imaginary conversation based on the true conversation between two men. One of the men told me about it.

This is what was written on the note. There were two men. Just named them, James and Thomas. One afternoon, they sat together in front of a porch. James told Thomas about a girl next door; who he thinks has beautiful face and a sexy body.
Then James spoke to Thomas, “Well Thomas, I guess the old saying is right. That there is 20 evils in a woman’s bottom” Thomas answered, “Really? If that is the case, then I think there is one other place which has tons of evils in it.” “Wow wow,” James reacted. His thought was in every part of a woman’s body he could imagine, and then he threw a guess. “Is it the breast?” “No,” Thomas replied, “It is in a man’s head.”

I found the story was funny and yet I considered it very critical, so I share it in my facebook note. The reaction to the story is what made me realize that in this so called globalize world, narrow paradigm is still on reign. And that paradigm is stick on my friends’ head and many of them have high education.

Some of my gals praised Thomas for being not gender bias and they conceded him. The girls agree that most men are still thinking like James and this has put us in a very difficult position in advocating for Anti Pornography Act which is very gender bias. Some pals were offended, though they commented with a smile sign. One man, wrote, “James = doesn’t know he is dirty in mind, Thomas = realizes about his naughty thought. Hehehehe, men! They are just like that, just understood.” On his second post to the story, another man wrote, “Well, value comes from paradigm.”

To the first man, I replied, “Well, knowing that he himself should be the one to blame is better then not knowing and blames other.” I refuse to understand something that I know is wrong. I think people should change their way of thinking if they knew it is wrong, instead asked to be understood. As for the second, I criticized his conclusion for being ‘neutral’. I wrote, “Indeed, value comes from perspective. But the conclusion should not just stopped right there. Because that kind of value, allowed a vise head minister in a West Jakarta high school touched his students because he thought that the girls dressed too tight. My point is, that certain value becomes legitimation for the followers to treat woman inhumanely. Thus I offer another conclusion, that bias perspective drives the followers to treat other people inhumanely and that kind of bias paradigm should be changed.” Until now, I heard nothing from both men.

Just when I thought the discussion was over for that day, another gal who is a graduate student in a very respective university in our country made a comment. “Well, certain woman does like to show her evil to capture man’s evil mind. It takes two to tango, baby” My first reaction to her comment was, “Is she saying, that woman is evil and intendedly showing her evil to evoke man’s?” In shock, I trembly wrote, “That bias thinking is not only occurring to man, but also to woman. And this kind of thinking, in example, what made a raped victim feeling guilty for being ‘dirty’. While for me, those who should be blamed are those rapist and those people who keep resounding the kind of thought that legalizing raping in opposing evil.” Again, I have not heard from her since.

Now, I am hoping that she would not put a distance on me. That I wish she would oppose my thought to her limit, because I believe that by sharing and talking, we can move minds and change that paradigm.