As a child, I have a story. As a young person I have another and as a wife another. It's a childhood experience but the memories are still fresh. I hurt myself so much all these years. I did not voice out to anyone because of fear of being tagged. My childhood story is known to only two people to the best of my knowledge but today am sharing with the world. Thank to World Pulse- for giving me an opportunity to speak. My papa and mama did not know, no member of the family known even as I write now.
After being abused as a child by a family relative. The outcome of it was psychological trauma. I hated men, became afraid and too quiet to talk to anyone. It delayed marriage for me because I never wanted to have anything with any man. I got much relief at 24yrs after I write my first book on healthy living on HIV/AIDS, Care and Support. I gave to a friend to proof read. When he was done, he invited me and the first question he asked was "have I ever been raped". He said it was clear in my book that I have been hurt. He asked for the story and that was the first time I ever talk about it. I felt relieved, better and calm that I have opened up after a long time.
After, I have decided to get married, my health journey started. I discovered a growth and it was fibroid. The suitors were coming and taking to their heels when they discover I had fibroid. Doctor's result was that the sizes were big, you cannot conceive unless you carry out a myometomy.
It cause me varieties of pains - emotional, psychological, physical and medical all as single. Time to made a decision set in and I decided to break the promise of keep sex till after marriage so as to get pregnant. Do you what? I got pregnant with big sizes of fibroid. Medical personnels that handled my case were all astonish at it. But it was God. The period of my pregnancy was life and death. Always in pains, it was a pre term at 8months and did not make it (baby died on the 8th day). After delivery, I was still looking like a 7months pregnant woman. I had no choice that to go for surgery after 6months of delivery. To God be the Glory, the operation was successful. All these as single, thank to my mum, she was there all through encouraging me. One year later after the surgery (this year) I got married not to the father of my baby but someone else who was there from the begining but I never loved him. Today, he is the joy of my life. He makes me happy every new day. Love grow. The father of my baby was AS as i am, so i decided to disengage the relationship. Another area of life empowerment and education ( know your genotype)
"Life is a teacher, the more you live the more you learn". One thing was on my mind when all these was happening, 'I will make it so I can encourage other women cos I know alot will be passing through the same ordeals or even worst. The vunerability of women comes in various ways.
The concern lies in educating women and girls on reproductive health and other health issues. Also to assist girls who have been abused to speak out and get justice in return. A youth friendly center is my plan to reach out to them and my proposed magazine title "About her" which will target every woman - child, young and old.