WHEN SINGLE MOTHERS STRUGGLE TO SUCH AN EXTENT THAT YOU HATE MEN

Life has taught me that complaining about things you can never change will lead to a very dark, miserable existence. But the hope to lean on the supreme God has always sustained me. 'Bible'... I couldn't believe how much incredibly important information delivered with heart, hope and laughter is packed in. You must get this book! Often Single women become single mothers through widowhood, adoption, donor insemination, or pregnancy outside marriage. There are so many single mothers in Botswana. However all single mothers I would say are destined to become a parenting classic……….!

I am a single mother and I always make sure that my problems are mine and do not affect my relationship with my children in any way. My daughter will be 8 this year as the first born I have the burden of caring for my 6 siblings. I call them my children ever since my mother passed away.

This world is full of toils and snares, I try by all means to impact positive attitude on my children. In so many ways they have been disadvantaged and less privileged. It has been a great challenge in my life , being single is not a joke. I sometimes tell them ‘I wish you could finish school so that you can start fending food and clothes for yourselves’. Imagine, the rebuking, counseling, making corrections in the family affairs, intervening in their school its me and all that they encounter as youths. I talk a lot with them. I am actually their closest friend. As a parent I realize that I need to be able to show my children the good side of life and I advice them to take heed to my words. But there are times when we single mothers suffer to such an extent that I feel I hate men. Why, because I look at my past encounters and experiences it hurts me the most. It’s really tough being a single mother more especially when it comes to paying school fees , attending parents teachers meetings and other school activities. Fathers here are not supportive despite being taken to court to support and pay the maintenance, it becomes so unbearable. Yet in the long run when these kids have achieved these (men) become their fathers instantly.The drinking habit among some men has held them to be irresponsible.

However my children are like arrows .They are the best thing that ever happened to me. Without them I would never realize all my hidden talents and potentials. Eg, I try by all means to be honest, am organized, am punctual, and am very good at improvising and I can make something out of nothing. In fact I discovered my personality because of them. People in my community respect me, because of what they have seen during the past few years with how i took care of my siblings. Some come by my house to acknowledge me, to pat me on my shoulder just because with the look of things around our communities orphans are so difficult to deal with.

One thing parents should know is that when children begin to grow up, they seek answers, so lets all see our children as a blessing because having children is not planning to buy a house. It mostly happens unplanned, so they are innocent blood. Don’t run away from your responsibility. If you don’t have money to raise your children and you live on a pap, or manna, eat that pap with them joyfully. This is because I believe my presence in their lives is more important than anything material i can or cant give them.