HOW TO GET RID OF WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK

All women who join World Pulse amaze me because everyone is insistent on improving themselves and the world around them. It takes courage and little steps. Sometimes there are setbacks but sometimes those are a setup for a future success. It gives us the opportunity to stop, look and listen to what the universe is trying to tell us. It is always a gift.

In the 1980's and '90's I was a national motivational speaker on womens' issues. My monthly newsletter MIND OVER MATTER had the following tips. It is important to remove the roadblocks that inhibit us from reaching our full potential in all areas of our life. I hope the following helps:

1. ELIMINATE THE "SHOULDS". Anytime you say I SHOULD, I HAVE TO, I MUST, I OUGHT TO,it is your hint that you are living off someone else's value. It doesn't feel good. People who do this really don't know who they are. "I should have the neighbors over tonight though I am tired and want to relax.", "I ought to  work late tonight", "I should do the laundry" , "I have to make a decision tonight", "I must drive my son to his friends' house". Likewise, how many people say to you, should, must, have to or ought to. They are trying to push their value onto you and it doesn't feel good. 

You have the obligation to yourself to change and eliminate this to be a fully functioning, authentic person. At least to be aware of what is really happening.

EXERCISE: The next time you say should, must have to or ought to, or someone says that to you, ask yourself "What do I WANT to do?" The want is your internal you, your soul. You can keep doing the "should" if you aren't ready to risk, but at least know what you want, who you really are inside. No one can see it, but you can feel it. 

EXERCISES: Put a sign on your bathroom mirror so you see it first thing every morning when you go in there to do whatever you do first thing in the morning. The sign?  "I WILL NOT SHOULD ON MYSELF TODAY".

2. BALANCE: To have balance, make a commitment to the three areas of your life (work, family, self). Not all will get the same amount of time all the time.

EXERCISE: On a daily basis, take five minutes before you get out of bed to think of all three areas of your life. Decide what one thing you will do in each of those areas. Write it down. 

For example, for my family I decided to call my daughter, Lara, just to say "Hi". For myself, I decided to take a 1/2 hour to go sit by the lake outside my office. For work, I spent time with  my secretary alone to re-evaluate what we are doing and get new ideas from her.

Keep track of this for 10 days. The cumulative effect will astound you. In 10 days you will have done 10 nice things for your family. In a year you will have logged 365 nice specific things for your family and yourself and it didn't take that long. Just a few little steps of change is better than too much because doing too much you won't keep up. But a little thing you do it without even noticing. But it IS noticed in time.

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HOW TO BE MORE CREATIVE BY DEVELOPING THE RIGHT SIDE OF YOUR BRAIN

It's no joke when someone tells you "I do my best thinking in the shower/taking a bath." Water, humming, anything mindlessly repetitive creates negative ions in the brain which encourages creativity, new ideas and right brain development. In a world of computers, microwave ovens, texting, appliances, etc, too many positive ions are created which cause stress, drag us down and zap us of positive energy, a relaxed demeanor and creativity. Next time you feel stressed, try sitting by the water, taking a long shower or humming. For me, driving my car or walking in the park does it. I wrote a children's book in my mind walking around a fountain. An attorney told me he came up with the idea that solved a criminal case while taking a shower.

Good luck. Have fun with it. And keep dreaming. Remember a goal is a dream with a deadline. Ubuntu.