Thrown out of my home by the person with whom I tied the nuptial knot, who had fathered my children; I decided there and then that I will not go back this time. My mother who had also gone through a troubled first marriage was as devastated as me because she was witnessing her past all over again but she took control of the situation; settling me in another city with her younger sisters family. My aunt took me under her wing, in my battered state of mind she provided solace to my frazzled nerves and slowly I was able to stand on my own two feet. But paradise was not meant to last. Her husband’s lust drove a wedge in our relationship and I had to relocate. This time to another aunt’s place. She was issue less but driven to neurotic behavior because of a schizophrenic husband; pieces by pieces I tried to mend life for the sake of my children. Sadly this arrangement too did not last and I had to pack up once again. Homeward bound I felt like a total failure that had not been able to avail the chances God had thrown my way rather I had made my children suffer during the whole two and a half year period.
Back home I fell into deep depression, dependent on pills to sleep through the night. My father seeing me like this decided that I will have to start my studies all over again and by force made me get admission in a university. Keeping fingers crossed I gingerly stepped into the academic world where everybody was young, carefree and exuberant which proved to be a balm for my depressed condition. I started enjoying my days in the university exploring new horizons and constantly being reminded that when the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.
In the four years I have been separated from my husband I had many hands that held me along my journey to establish my identity and worth. Hands which saved me from falling and cushioned my fall. If it hadn’t been for their love and kindness I would have ended up a non entity, a failure in the eyes of my children. But now when I see pride in my kid’s eyes when they look at me it feels as if I can conquer the world.
Take action! This post was submitted in response to My Story: Holding Hands.