I speak and I write

I speak to the walls, and I write on the walls. I speak to myself, and I write by myself. I speak to everyone, and I write to everyone. I speak to you, and I am writing to you.
I cannot keep silent, and I cannot stop writing. I am saying that I cannot keep silent, and I cannot abandon my writing.
I feel uncomfortable when I do not speak, but I feel relaxed when I write.
I feel like I am dying when I do not speak, but I feel like I am alive when I write.
It pains in my heart when I do not speak. It seems like my heart is dead when I do not write. It seems like someone is chopping my heart with a blade when I do not speak and write.
It really disconnects my body from my soul when I keep silent like a statue. I feel like someone has taken my life, and I am completely dead like a dead body in the grave.
And it really frustrates when I do not write like an illiterate person. Therefore, I speak and write because both speaking and writing are the only tools which console my heart.
You might have the same situation when you do not speak or write. You might have become breathless when you keep silent like a statue. You might have lost interest in writing when you do not consider writing. Therefore, you, we, and I speak. Therefore, you, we, and I write because we do not want to lose any of them.
We speak and write, but why should we speak and write? Why should I speak and write? Why cannot I keep silent? (Pause)
I speak and write when I find myself being dominated by others. I speak and write when I am being discriminated by others. I speak and write when my rights are being ignored by others. I speak and write when my identity is being ignored by others. I speak and write because I become confident to open my mouth even though someone tries to muffle my mouth. I speak and write because I feel to speak and write. (pause)
I speak and write when my mothers and sisters are being dominated by others. I speak and write when my mothers and sisters are being discriminated by others. I speak and write when my mothers and sisters rights are being ignored by others. I speak and write when my mothers and sisters identities are being ignored by others. I speak and write when I see my mothers and sisters are being tortured by others. I speak and write when my mothers and sisters are being abused and raped by others. I speak and write when my mothers and sisters are thrown away in barren places after their molestation. I speak and write when I see injustice happening with my mothers and sisters. I speak and write when my mothers and sisters are imprisoned in their homes with no freedom. I speak and write when my mothers and sisters are forced to hide their glowing faces. I speak and write when my mothers and sisters are forced to shut their mouths. I speak and write when I see burning wounds and blood spilling from my mothers and sisters bodies because they raise their voice for their rights; they break their silence, and fly away from their caged life. (Pause)
Yes! You will be confused by the word “others”, and you will ask, what do you mean by others?
I speak and write to describe the word others. The word “others” is very heavy, and it refers to the entire people on this universe, who do not encourage we, women to speak and write. The word “others” refers to all those powerful people particularly men, where they have authority to subjugate we, women; where they have power to treat we, women as animals; where they have power to consider we, women inferior compared to themselves, and they power to discriminate we, women based on gender and sexuality.
In addition, the word “others” refers to the conservative people of my country, Pakistan; who have imprisoned my mothers and sisters, who have snatched my mothers’ and sisters’ right to go outside, right to educate themselves, and right to have freedom. A girl goes to market, but on her way, a group of boys teas her. She cannot lift up her face and walk confidently because boys will follow her and try to mock her of being girl. If her father knows that boys have teased his daughter, he will simply shoot his daughter with one bullet spreading pieces of her spark hither and thither. When her mother knows this, she will not take her daughter’s side; conversely her mother will call her sput. Her mother will abandon her daughter’s freedom to go outside because mother gets afraid that her daughter will fetch shame on her family.
However, I speak and write that girls are not the ones who bring shame to their families; it is their society that has shaped these stereotypes. Therefore, I speak and write because I want to break these stereotypes which do not even make any sense.
Moreover, the word “others” refers to the extremists of Afghanistan, who have taken away their mothers, wives, and daughters’ freedom and happiness, and who have imprisoned them inside the harem. The word “others” refers to the people of India and Bangladesh, who raped their mothers and sisters, who traffic their mothers and sisters to other parts, and who fuck their mothers and sisters. The word “others” refers to the people of other South and East Asian countries where mothers and sisters are sexually harassed and abused. The word “others” refers to the people of western countries, where rape cases, women’s homicide, honor killing, sexually harassment and trafficking cases are growing every day. The word “others” refers to all people on this universe, who favor all these women’s problems.
With full of sadness and despair! I speak and write because I can no longer endure my mothers and sisters’ suffering. I speak and write because I am afraid to experience domestic violence. I speak and write because I do not want others to torture my body and throw it somewhere. I speak and write because I am worried whether you will feel sympathy if I go through these. I speak and write because I am not sure whether you will raise your voice for the sake of my rights and rights for other women.
Nevertheless, I am saying that I will speak and write. I am saying that one day you and “others” will also speak and write when you all realize what is happening with your mothers and sisters. Imagine how it will feel if you, we, and others speak and write together. Our speaking and writing will probably lift up this world where my mothers and sisters will also speak and write.
Nevertheless, I am saying that I will speak and write till the end of my life, for the sake of my pitiful mothers and sisters who have never spoken and written for themselves, and who have never raised their voice for their freedom, happiness, and justice before.
At last, I am saying that I will speak, speak, and speak.
I will write, write, and write.
You and we will speak and write.
You and I will speak and write.