Parascovia's Voice

I often wish my daughters knew my mom better but by the time they got old enough to learn from her her health was bad. When the oldest was about 10 I asked them if they remembered her at all and they said not really and I reminded them of when we went over to visit her when they were much younger. They remembered the old lady in bed with the tubes in her nose.

I wanted to come write what she would say if she was here and given her voice but realized she already speaks to everyone through me. I realized I mentioned her a lot in my journals and am now glad I did since my girls remember her this way now. It was a beautiful feeling for me since I can almost hear her spirit telling me to tell of our people. The Aleuts called themselves what would mean \"We the People\" in English. I want my daughters to feel what I felt when I was a little girl and Nature was my friend. I would love to take them to Attu to live for a few years at least to feel \"Innocence Recaptured\".

They were like many indigenous peoples of the world and lived a deep spiritual life close to nature and blended it in with the Russian Orthodox church after the Russians invaded. I want a purer relationship with Nature where it is not filtered through Jesus, though I met him when I used to go to Church with my mom. I like him well enough but he is not my God. It is why I can embrace Christians and other religions because I believe we are all spiritual in the same sort of way where the differences are cultural rather then spiritual.

I plan to get much more involved with the Aleut people and my daughters are eager to learn more of our heritage as well. It makes me smile when I think back to when I was a child and now feel that friendship with Nature that I hid deep inside myself long ago. I am still working up the nerve and energy to do that though. It seems our lives are already full of so much but this is something we will make time for. It is like my mother's voice in the wind calling me and my daughters home.

Maria